Caprica, Good Riddance

Caprica, Good Riddance

For once, I’m not disappointed when SyFy cancels a series before its time. Caprica is now thankfully put out of my misery. But let this be a lesson to all the writers out there as an exemplary example of how NOT to write. Let me demonstrate many of the missteps that defined Caprica’s demise.

1. Broken Promises
   I don’t know if I got this impression from promos or from early episodes, but I was promised to learn the origin of the Cylons. That’s literally all I cared about. I wanted to see early Cylons,”By-your-command” and all that. Cylons. Not weird religions and terrorists. Not corporate politics. Not marital difficulties. CYLONS. Where the fuck were the Cylons??
   When you make your readers a promise, in other words, you set an expectation, you form a “contract” with the reader/viewer. The same thing happened in Battlestar Galactica. “They have a plan.” What plan?? We never found out. Compare with “I’ll be back.”
   DO NOT BREAK YOUR PROMISES WITH THE READER/VIEWER. DELIVER!
   
2. Lousy/Non-existent Setting, Bad World Building
   Umm….why does Caprica look exactly like Earth? Everything except the alphabet is identical. Are sets really that expensive? When they went into a CG world it was much better, but overall, there was absolutely nothing interesting or intriguing about the setting. Not only that, but none of the tech really made any sense. It was inconsistent and self-contradictory, some hi-tech, some ridiculously low-tech. I had a hard time suspending disbelief.
   I DON’T READ/WATCH SCI-FI (or SyFy) TO SEE MY OWN BACKYARD! BE CREATIVE!
   
3. Flat Characters
   I didn’t get it. Girls as monotheistic terrorists? Really? Why? I didn’t get any of it. The girl-turned-pre-Cylon Zoe sorta sat around and did nothing…and still does very little. You’re a goddamn Cylon, start wrecking shit! Yeah, it took Anakin 3 damn movies to turn in Darth Vader, but Anakin was driven. Zoe is just boring as hell. It’s like a bunch of talentless gamers wrote this thing after an all-night WoW battle. Really? She’s the mother of all Cylons? REEALLLY????
   YOUR CHARACTERS DRIVE THE STORY! IF THEY DON’T CARE, NEITHER WILL THE READER/VIEWER!
   
4. Random Subplots
   I literally have no idea what they were trying to achieve in Caprica. I thought it was about Cylons, but there’s terrorists, businessmen, Taurons (rhymes with morons), and really no one I cared about. Yeah, the subplots had some drama, but so what? They didn’t matter. All that mattered was that the Cylons will destroy their world. Cyyylllonnss. Ass-kicking terminators.
   STICK TO THE POINT. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A POINT. THEN MAKE THE POINT!
   
5. Relativism
   Stories are allegorical. Caprica wasn’t. The sad thing is that I could see them trying. Terrorism. The internet. Virtual reality. Let’s just mix these all up and see what happens. I really love it during cooking shows when the contestants pull ingredients out of the hat and make a dish. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes horrible. To me, Caprica illustrates the latter, a random assortment of good ideas that produce disgusting slop.
   MAKE THE STORY MATTER(relevant) TO THE READER/VIEWER. THE STORY IS ABOUT THEM, NOT ABOUT YOU. IF THEY DON’T “GET IT”, YOU WILL BE CANCELED (not be published).

I hope this illustrates how a perfectly conceived piece of creativity can turn into utter crap. When working on NaNoWriMo or whatever your next project is, keep this lesson in mind. It’s perfectly fine (and expected) to have any and all of these issues during your first draft, so don’t sweat it. Just don’t let them get into production/print.

Adventure Genre No-No’s

Adventure Genre No-No’s

I was inspired to write this post by my response to a post on the NaNoWriMo forum: What not to do in Adventure? Now these replies are a little tongue-in-cheek, but sometimes during critique I find my work evaluated with a literary eye instead of an Adventure eye, so here are some guidelines to consider when writing or reviewing adventure stories.

Things to Avoid When Writing Adventure

• Well-thought-out arguments and reasoning. Adventurers act, sometimes without thinking about the consequences. They don’t spend much time contemplating just the right way to say something, they just blurt it out.
• Weak Villains who throw hissy fits. Strong villains are everything in Adventure. The more wicked, evil, and outlandish, the better.
• Mary Sue's. Let your hero fail...a lot. A hero who just blows through the obstacles is no fun. Let him flounder for a while, and earn everything he gets.
• Deep Emotional Scenes where your characters explore their tender feelings...except how much they hate the bad guy. Adventure is not therapy…except for that satisfied feeling you get when the villain falls into the tar pit.
• Paranormal. That's like a totally other genre. I mean beyond an Indiana Jones or Pirates of the Caribbean level of paranormal. If you have sexy werewolves or sparkly vampires then get out.
• Deep Romance. Now of course the good guy gets the girl (change genders as needed) but only because he's the toughest SOB around, not because he "understands" her. He wins her…literally. See picture above.
• Moral Ambiguity. Not to say the characters can't be conflicted, but the good guys need to fight for a reason that resonates with the reader. You’re either with the hero or against him.
• Everyday Settings. The hero must explore uncharted waters (or space or desert or tombs etc). No one wants to read about an adventure to the kitchen (Unless it's Hell's Kitchen). These settings should be fairly real-world or you’ll find your story drifting into Sci Fi or Fantasy, and no one wants that.
• Conversation. Dialog should be limited to "Look out behind you" or the equivalent. This is not the place for Chatty Cathy's. Two characters talking over coffee should be avoided unless someone dies at the end of the conversation or large sums of money are exchanged.
• Mercy. Do not under any circumstances show your characters any mercy. You are the author, not their mother. Test them to their limits, and just when they think they've caught a break, drop the other shoe. Kill them if you have to. Nothing perks up your characters more than when one of their own kicks the bucket.
• Don't Kill the Cat. Don't go overboard. The Wizard of Oz would have been bitter if Toto died. Dorothy would have been like "Fuck you all, I'm outta here" if Toto kicked it. Give the hero a reason to keep fighting, something to hold onto when all hope is lost.

I hope that helps.

Blogqed!

Blogqued!

I hate to say this, but I’m out of good ideas for my blog. Okay, I should say I have some decent ideas, but nothing really worthy of much effort at the moment. So therefore, I’m turning over the blog to you. Ask me anything. Writing technique. Personal stuff. Questions about my stories.Requests for blog topics. Critique requests (public or private).  Anything. Heck, give me some writing prompts and ask for a story. I’ll try to answer at least one question from everyone. Thanks for your support!

And, of course, the Bad Girl Blogfest is May 7, a week from Friday! I just saw a movie with an awesome, awesome Bad Girl.

This is Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass! AKA Mindy Macready, the left is the graphic novel version, the right is the movie version played by Chloë Grace Moretz.

She reminds me of a bad-ass character I created for NaNoWriMo, Elena Galistina, who started her nefarious career sometime around the same age as Mindy. I may have to include a snippet of Elena in the Bad Girl Blogfest.

 

Seriously, no one knows the left and center characters? The left is a character from a recent graphic novel that is schedule to become a movie, and the center is a character from a TV series that featured a warrior princess. Click on it for a larger image. And yes, the girl on the right is indeed Jessica Rabbit…who BTW is not actually bad, she’s just drawn that way. But I still think of her “that way.”

Car Wreck, NaNo, Invasion Tips, Awards!

Car Wreck, NaNo, Invasion Tips, Awards!

This post is just a catch-all of random things that have been going on lately. Treat it like a newsletter I suppose.

Wife Survives Highway Rollover!

She's doing fine, but the car is totaled. Apparently she hit some debris in the road, the car skidded off the road and up a steep hill, then rolled over down the hill. It's a complete loss. She only suffered some minor bruises from the whole thing, but it could have been a lot worse. Kudos to Subaru for building a car that can withstand this, but wag of the finger for losing control when a tire bursts. So now we're in the market for a brand new used car. We want a roomy AWD car with lowish miles and airbags.

NaNoWriMo Update!

I'm currently right on track for my goal of 90K. I know I'm taking at least one day off from writing, so I actually need to build up some margin. I'm finding several advantages of plotting vs pantsing, the main one being short-term goals. With pantsing, I know how the story starts, and I know about where it ends, but I have no idea how it happens. With Plotting, I know each major plot point, so I only need to focus on getting the characters to each point, which makes it a little easier to judge progress. However...the first week of NaNoWriMo always goes well so I'll be better able to judge this in a week. Look for my Week Two tips on Monday!

Blog Awards!

I received not one but two blog awards this week:
Erica from Laugh. Write. Play. gave me my second excellent Kreativ Blogger Award!

Thank you very much!

And  quillfeather from W.M.MORRELL gave me the coveted Honest Scrap Blogger Award!

Thanks! I don't know what Honest Scrap is, but it sounds great!

Apparently there are some conditions with these awards which I will pretty much ignore, but I will tell you a few things you might not know about me:

1. My father was a professional synchronized swimmer.
2. My mother performed Burlesque shows on Navy ships.
3. I used to drive the NASCAR circuit before I was caught taking steroids.
4. My daughter breeds champion muskrats and competes all over the world.
5. My son has a rare genetic disorder which gives him superhuman strength and agility. We're discussing options with the CIA.
6. Our dog once foiled a terrorist plot by chasing the terrorists into a deep well.
7. None of these is true...so they're still things you don't know about me!

Disagree With Me!

Nobody disagreed with my post Crossing the Threshold. Turns out I made a big mistake. It’s Crossing the First Threshold. Oops. See anything you disagree with? You could win.

Tips for Knowing the Aliens have Bad Intent!

Did anyone catch the series premiere of V? No one seemed distressed by the aliens, but they should have been:

1. They came with no warning. And when they knocked down a few planes they said "oops."
2. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. 'Nuf said.
3. They were far too sexy. Disguise is the first clue of deceit.
4. They were using Mankind's Greatest Invention against us: Marketing. Have you ever met someone in Marketing you can trust?
5. Has ANYONE ever watched or read Independence Day (ID4), War of the Worlds, The Day the Earth Stood Still, or Star Trek: First Contact? When giant space ships hover over major cities, it's BAD, m'kay? Heck, they even mentioned ID4 in the episode! WAKE UP!

Seattle Steamcon 2009 Report

Seattle Steamcon 2009 Report

This was my first convention in about 10 years. I don’t know why I don’t go to more, but I plan to remedy this situation. Scroll down for my pictostory from the event!

Steamcon was Seattle’s first Steampunk-specific convention. It featured panels, art, vendors, RPG and gaming, and musical/cultural events. I had a great time. Here are some of my takeaways.

• Style: Victorian-era style is fabulous. This is the first convention I been to where the prevailing style was topcoats and evening dresses. I felt like I was at a retro formal event. And these clothes were not just costumes. These were professionally tailored outfits. And, of course, there were goggles. Lots of goggles. Although sometimes a monocle was substituted.
• What is Steampunk: I attended more than a few panels that tried to define Steampunk. Here’s what I gathered: Steampunk is retro/future, predominately focused on the technology, style, and social attitudes of the Victorian era. There is no one book that defines the genre; in fact, many of the panelists seemed to be calling for that One Book or movie they could point to. The problem is that the genre is so broad and varied that it defies description. There’s an “anything goes” attitude to it.
• First vs Second World: Steampunk can be divided into two general types. First World is alternative history, set in our past. Second World is Steampunk set an alternate universe of sorts, or in our future. Second World usually involves a heavier dose of Fantasy.
• Characters: Steampunk does seem to entail a few interesting character types. To name a few:
  • The Mad Scientist—The crazy fool who thinks electromagnetism could someday light cities.
  • The Industrialist—The capitalistic magnate who orders the construction of giant telescoping cannons to shoot Aether-trapping nets.
  • The Mechanic—The person with the knowhow to use gluenium to fasten the clockstrap to the cantilever.
  • The Poet (or Prophet)—The person with social vision who imagines a world where ice is not just for winter, and kids no longer wear gas masks.
• Nobody Knows Shit: I got this feeling that the panelists were begging for more Steampunk literature. The genre is still in it’s infancy, and there’s no right or wrong. The real question Steampunk asks is…why are we here today? What decisions led us to this point? And how would the world be different if these decisions had been made differently, or people like Edison or Tesla had never lived? It’s about what could have happened. What if there’s no electricity? What if computers came along 100 years earlier?
• Conventioneers are Freakin’ Awesome: There is a reason many great books include a “bar scene.” It’s because that’s where all the kewl stuff happens. They oversold this event. They had expected 400, 1300+ showed up. Every room was packed to the gills and hotter than hell, so I made my way to the bar early and often for refreshment. Many a hearty laugh was shared over a soda or a double-bourbon and 7.

All in all, I thought it was a pretty good event. Great styles, good panels, lots of varied entertainment. Many first-convention glitches.

I’ve crafted a small picto-story from the event. I apologize for the deplorable condition of the photographs, but the iPhonium is a primitive contraption at best for pixilated imagography.

Welcome to World Airship Lines. We are expecting a small delay, so please enjoy your complimentary tea sandwiches and finger cakes.

That’s not our Captain, is it? He looks a tad…off.

 
The four hour wait for the airship was abominable. These fine ladies succumbed to fatigue.

 
“It’s here! To the Airship!”

 
“Sir, I believe your watch and my wrist sundial are not in full agreement.”

 
Marvelous day for an airship ride. Marvelous day indeed.

 
An Officer of World Airship Lines will escort you to your cabin.

 
“Welcome. I’m so glad they put you in my cabin. I’ve always wanted a cabin mate like you. Mwahahaha.”

Why aren’t we Published?

NOTE: We have another winner of the Disagree with Me contest!
 Sara ♥ wins a book of her choice by noting that Mentors do not prevent the hero from coming to harm. A Mentor is not a stand-in for the Hero’s mom (although she certainly can act as a mentor). Congrats for noting that right away! BTW I discovered that Sara won by a mere 5 seconds. Incredible.

Disagree with anything you see here? You could win! Although I haven’t added anything intentionally wrong in this post…it’s just a bit facetious overall.

Why aren’t we Published?

I actually don’t have much to say today. No nuggets of writerly advice are springing from my brain. I’ll probably continue my Hero’s Journey series on Monday. I’m about to head over to SteamCon, Seattle’s Steampunk convention so I don’t have time for a detailed post.

I will say that I have a new hope. Some of the books I’ve been reading lately are great, but some are simply atrocious. Talk about turning off your inner editor—it’s one thing to constantly hound yourself over bad writing, it’s simply another when you’re reading the utter tripe released from a major publisher. I literally want to mark up the book and send it back to the author with suggested revisions. I’m about 50 pages in and so far it’s been nothing but boring conversation about backstory. WTF?? This was billed as a romping adventure!But, like I said, this gives me a new hope. I know I write better than this person. In fact, I’ve read much of your writing too, and I know many of my blog readers are excellent writers. So what’s stopping us from being published?

I can tell you why I’m not published yet. Aside from the fact that I haven’t queried agents (except agent contests and the like), and I haven’t submitted anything to publishers. I’m not published because I don’t have a novel that’s ready to be published. I plan to remedy this over the next few months, starting with my NaNoWriMo novel, which I will talk about next week. I could go on and on about why my existing works are not worthy, but that would fill a book. Suffice it to say that my growth as a writer has far surpassed my ability to revise past material. So, I’m starting fresh.

So. Why aren’t you a published author?
(BTW if you are published, answer “what took so long?”)

So here are my Steps to Becoming a Published Author:

1. Write something good.
2. Throw it out and write it all over.
3. Get feedback.
4. Realized your stuff still stinks and throw it out again.
5. Finally hit on a winner. If you’re lucky.
6. Send to an agent/editor. Deal with rejection. Return to Step 1.
7. Sell and Publish!

See? How easy is that? Good luck!

The “Evil Twin” Meme Sucks

The “Evil Twin” Meme Sucks

Meme: A postulated unit or element of cultural ideas, symbols or practices transmitted from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals, or other imitable phenomena.* (Wikipedia)

You’ve all seen it or read it. The main character is somehow “split” into a good and evil part. Or a long lost twin reappears for an episode or chapter, and is nothing like the original character. Ever since TV and movie directors discovered that they can overlay the same actor twice in the same frame, they’ve explored in nauseating repetition every possible angle and variation of the Evil Twin Meme. It all started full steam with the “Evil Kirk” ST:TOS episode “Mirror, Mirror”. This Wikipedia entry has more details.

The latest series to fall victim to this craptastically unoriginal concept is Warehouse 13. In the latest episode (stop reading if you haven’t seen it and want to), Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) is trapped in a mirror and an evil, possessed version of herself emerges. Our hero Pete Lattimer (Eddie McLintock) supposedly discovers the switcheroo when they kiss. “She would never kiss me, even if the fate of the world was at stake.” Hey, guess what Pete? Maybe your clue should have come from the stinky derivative writing! At least she didn’t have a goatee like Evil Obama over there. Ever notice that Evil Twins of women are sexier than the original? Why is that? At least they got this meme over with early in the series (Or have they??).

Are all the good ideas gone? Is there nothing new? I’ve complained about this before. I know that when you have to crank out a 13- or 26- week episodic series, you need to use whatever ideas are out there.

Moving right along, I have a confession to make. I have a concept for a novel or short story where a person lives in two universes inhabited with the same cast in different roles. One is a “light, happy” universe, the other is “dark, deadly”. You know, Utopia vs. Dystopia. So, like my concept with Dawn’s Rise where I include as many disasters as I can into a disaster novel, maybe in this case I’m going to do the Evil Twin meme to death, the ultimate Evil Twin novel to end all Evil Twin novels. Maybe the Evil Twins will have Evil Twins. Yes, that’s it! Evil Quadruplets! Start lining up the publishers!

Taking this even further, I can’t wait to come up with a Paranormal concept. I will find every repetitive and overused meme in the genre and overdo it completely. I’ll have vampires, ghosts, werewolves, zombies, skeletons, monsters, demons, witches, spirits, angels, devils, sprites, fairies, and haunted houses up the wazoo. It will be frickin’ Halloween on every page. And of course I’ll have to make it an urban romance as well, because apparently you can’t sell fiction unless it’s a romance nowadays. Another meme I’d like to kill. Well, you gotta write to the audience. Paranormal urban disaster evil twin romance market, here I come!

*Forgive me for using the LOLcat meme. And note the new category “Random Rants.”

Zombies!

Zombies!

I just finished Max Brooks’ World War Z and I loved it! Exactly what I’m trying to accomplish in Dawn’s Rise: a disaster that affects the entire world. World War Z is an “Oral History” of a Zombie Apocalypse as told by survivors of the event. It goes through all the stages of the event, from the first outbreak of zombism to the final solution. It’s richly detailed and researched, and it’s the best book I’ve read all year. I’m really hoping it gets made into a movie, because I can see the whole movie in my mind.

Anyways, in honor of reading this book, I’m reposting the scene where Alex Ross and the gang fight off zombies in the heart of London last November. Unlike World War Z, these are not infected, they’re regular people who have been hit with a pulse from the Singularity Matrix. The pulse scrambles their brains for a few minutes, but only if they’re sober. So Alex and the gang have just liquored up, knowing the Matrix was about to fire. Without further ado, here’s my (slightly edited) homage to Zombies at told by Alex:

The floor pressed cold against my head. My ears rang and my vision swam. The room spun in big circles. Car alarms and horns rang the air. My head throbbed, painful, aching. The people scattered on the floor struggled to rise. A rage built inside me. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted kill, to rip someone apart, feel their blood and bones in my mouth, to tear their flesh apart.

A wave of nausea washed over me and I rolled onto my back. I couldn't find the balance to rise. "M--M--Misty," I mumbled. She lay beside me, pushing herself up, a confused look on her face. I couldn't spot my other teammates. Her face contorted in a mask of anger. She bared her teeth and growled at me, breathing quickly.

"Ahh!" She jumped, snapping at my throat. I snatched her arms and maneuvered behind her, holding my arms beneath hers and pressed her neck in a full Nelson.

"Misty, please! It's Alex. Misty, you've got to come out of it! You can fight it!"

She struggled and fought against me as I called her name. With a great push, she freed herself and faced me, spit flying from her mouth as she gnashed her teeth. Behind her rose Ellie, a rifle in her hand. Misty jumped and Ellie fired.

"No!" I cried as Misty landed in my arms. "Ellie, what the hell did you do!!" I felt Misty's body convulsing against me. "Misty!"

Ellie shot again, this time over my shoulder. The other patrons of the bar had awakened, and the more sober ones attacked each other. I felt Misty, searching for the bullet hole.

"Alex, I didn't shoot her," cried Ellie. "She's just coming out of it. Now put her down and help me fight!"

I looked at Misty's face, now dull and unfocused. "Alex, Alex," she said quietly. "What's happening?"

I hugged her, then released her. My eyes refused to focus on the attacking zombies. The room spun, and I saw two of each zombie. Rod pulled himself off the floor. "Julia's still out," he said.

In a fury of fire, we shot all the zombies in the bar. Misty crawled over to Julia to try to revive her. "Julia, baby, come on, get up." The girl stirred, but her head lolled to the side in an alcoholic stupor. I almost passed out myself.

"Here," said Ellie, passing us each some pills. "This may not make you sober, but it will wake you up, and counter some of the effects of the booze. Hurry up."

Outside, a number of zombies roamed around the streets. They attacked each other, gnawing on each other and beating their target's heads. Bones crackled like kindling as they used every ounce of madness in their attacks.

Misty coaxed Julia to take the pill. As we stood guard, my brain stopped reeling, and the zombies stopped doubling in my vision. Julia crawled to her feet, and gasped at the sight of all the dead bodies.

"You still ready for this," asked Misty, and Julia nodded.

"I'm not afraid," she said, despite her trembling. "Let's go." She started listing to the left but Misty propped her up.

We peered out the door. For the moment all the zombies in range seemed occupied. "We've got to move fast," said Ellie, "before they can reload the Zombie Ray."

We scampered down the street, stepping around the mutilated bodies and pools of blood. Screams and growls poured from all the buildings surrounding us. Piles of damaged and steaming cars littered the street, some with zombies inside beating senselessly against the windows, unable to manipulate a simple door handle. As we approached one car, the window burst open in a shower of glass, and the bloodied zombie crawled out on broken arms. It spotted us and ambled towards us, but Ellie felled it with a single shot to the head.

A thick drizzle settled in on us. A group of zombies milled about along an overpass.

"Why aren't they attacking anyone," I wondered aloud. "Are they recovering?"

A non-zombified woman ran down the street. The group spotted her and jumped off the overpass. Surprisingly, many of them continued the chase on broken ankles and legs. She screamed and ran harder, but a body tripped her. The group pounced on her, and in moments I could see flesh and entrails raining out from her body. The group stood back up, surveying the street, a somewhat satisfied look on their faces.

"They're forming packs? This is not good," said Ellie. "Come on, before they spot us."

We slipped around a corner, trotting towards the River Thames. Either the pill wore off, or the alcohol continued to flood my system, because I felt drunk again. I stumbled and veered, unable to run straight. Julia bumped into me and we both fell down into the wet street.

"Hee hee," she giggled, her eyes glazed and unfocused. She spoke in her incomprehensible Tagalog, singing something. She wrapped her arms around Rod as he helped us up.

"Rod," she started saying, "Rod, Rod, Rod."

"Fight it," said Ellie, not looking so steady herself. "Behind you!"

A group of about 5 zombies charged us. Ellie fired on them, missing our heads by inches. The last one dropped right at our feet. "Dammit," she cried, "I can't fucking shoot straight. We've gotta get sober! And those were all the pills I had."

We began to lean on each other for support, like a group of drunk partiers. "Here comes more!"

We turned around to find about thirty zombies closing in on us. We clumsily reached for our weapons, almost knocking each other down. I tried firing but nothing happened. I fiddled with the safety and released it. At about ten feet distance, I emptied my gun into the oncoming screaming mass. In a moment, they dropped to the ground, quivering. Then slowly, they picked themselves up. If anything, they seemed doubly angry now, howling and growling and reaching for us.

"Head shots," yelled Ellie, firing down the street at another approaching group.

 
I reloaded my gun, and this time took careful aim, dropping them one at a time. The assault seemed to clear my head a bit.

"Move it, we're about a block away from the river now." We sprinted down the street as the rain increased. The Zombie Ray had knocked out all power to London, but the suburbs still lit the clouds enough for us to see. Ellie didn't want us to use headlamps.

At last we made the river, and started heading East towards the remains of the Tower bridge. We saw no signs of British or Chinese forces, except some abandoned military vehicles and some corpses that could have been soldiers. Hard to tell in the dim light.

We arrived the Blackfriars Bridge underpass. Ellie switched on a small light to guide us through the impenetrable darkness. Julia pressed close to us. We passed through the first underpass without incident, but under the second bridge we detected rustling. Ellie held up her hand. "Lights," she whispered, and we turned them on. Surrounding us lit dozens of faces, peering out from the dark. Only now do I remember hearing that some zombies prefer to lie in wait, springing on unsuspecting prey. As one, the horde screamed and jumped out at us. As one, we opened fire with everything we had, completely surrounded.

We formed a ring with Julia in the middle. Inside the tunnel, the sound of guns deafened us, and the only light came from the muzzle flashes of our guns. I shot at all the faces I could see. My gun clicked, and I stepped into the ring to reload, coming out again to fire. Still they came, some with missing limbs, some with holes in their heads but not completely dead, most with blood pouring out of their bodies. The carnage was indescribable. The pavement pooled with their blood.

"This way," shouted Ellie. We pushed our defensive ring East, trying to escape the tunnel. The road beyond appeared clear.

My gun emptied again, but before I could reload, one of the zombies snatched it from me, and I stood face to face with a crazed man reaching for my throat. I whipped out a pistol and shot him between the eyes. Another zombie jumped towards me, this time a maddened but attractive woman. I shot her too, but her momentum carried her into me and knocked me and Julia down. Rob turned to help us up, but two zombies grabbed his waist and pulled him away. I heard him screaming somewhere in the dark.

"Rod!" screamed Julia. "Rod! Someone help Rod!"

I shot into the darkness, hoping to hit something and save Rod. We fired like crazy, a deafening barrage in the confines of the underpass. We beat off the zombies for a moment, and climbed over the bodies to find Rod. We discovered him crumpled in the corner, bleeding from a dozen places, a knife in his hand.

"You good," I asked him, and he nodded. He screamed when he tried to put weight on his foot.

Ellie knelt down and felt it. "Broken. Come on, help him."

Misty and I put his arms around our shoulders, and carried him out of the tunnel. We hadn't gone fifty yards when Julia screamed. A horde of zombies, dozens of bodies thick, ran towards us, down from White Lion Hill.

"Give me your guns and leave me here," said Rod. I'll fight them off, you run. The river walk looks clear."

 
It looked like every zombie in the city converged on our position.
"No!" screamed Julia. "We can make it."

 
Rod sat down painfully, and held Julia's hand. "Julia, I have to. It's the only way. You can't carry me. I'll be alright. I want you to live. Please. Now go, before they spot you."

"Come on, Julia, please," begged Misty. "It's the only way."

Julia tore herself away from Rod. We handed him a pile of everything that could fire a bullet, and ran down the river walk. In a moment, the echoes of gunfire reached us. Rod shot and shot, and then, silence. Only the screams of the zombies filled the night.

Want to read more? Start here.

What do I Want?

What do I Want?

I’ve been checking out a writing discussion on Gather.com. Last night’s topic was “what do your characters want?” I posted some things down about my characters from Dawn’s Rise, which go me thinking.

What do I want? What do I, as a person, but also a character in my own life, want? It’s not a question I ask myself very often. I know for starters I want to be a novelist. I’ve wanted to be a novelist probably since high school. I didn’t write much back then, but I loved reading Science Fiction (now Speculative Fiction…probably because there’s so little science involved anymore). I divided SF into two classes: Pre-moon landing and post-moon landing. The reason was that after 1969 it seemed that SF went from the realm of the purely speculative into the realm of the possible, and authors adjusted their writings accordingly. That was one of the best times for SF.

I then discovered a new class of authors, the ones who wrote far back in the 1920’s like Edgar Rice Burroughs, Jules Verne, and HG Wells. Despite their lack of any kind of modern scientific knowledge, they still created wonderfully crafted works that still hold their value today. As I grew older, I started having a bit of distaste for Fantasy. I thought it was too easy just to make up stuff. Swords and Dragons and Vampires…boring. What interests me isn’t what someone can fantasize about, but some that might actually happen someday. If mankind is ever able to travel among the stars, that opens up just huge potential for the human race. However, given what we know about Cosmology, it seems like we may never achieve this goal. No transporters, no phasers, just communicators for now.

So now I feel a bit disillusioned. (See my 20 year old quote about disillusionment). Whereas scientifically and technologically we’ve achieved far greater than anyone could have predicted (although the books I wrote in the late 80’s predicted the Internet and iPhones), some of the glorious tenets of Speculative Fiction still remain well rooted in the realm of Fantasy. There’s no interstellar travel. There are no orbiting colonies. There are no flying cars even. Yes, I can get a talking kitchen (see picture above). Whoopdeedoo. The fact that this 3lb laptop has more computing power than all the machines combined at school the year I graduated is amazing, but we’re still flying the same damn space shuttle we had the year I graduated. And this laptop has more computing power than that hunk of junk too.

So now we’re left with authors regurgitating the same old stuff or turning to vampire romances. Have we lost the creativity? What are we missing? Have all the promises of SF gone unkept for so long that we now no longer care? Where have you gone Isaac Asimov? Sure, there are still great stories to tell. After all, writing isn’t really about new invention and ideas. It’s about the characters, their personal challenges, and how they cope with an ever changing world that’s unpredictable and cruel. The greatest idea in the world is useless in the hands of an inept author. This is why Wells and Verne and Burroughs stay so readable, because they made their characters come alive, no matter how ridiculous we find their inventions in the light of modern technology.

What’s left? It looks like all roads lead back to Fantasy, where you have complete creative control to write anything without any limits except the own “world rules” that you set up. Which of course you can change with a word from Wesley Crusher. Fantasy still tells us a lot about who we are, and what we’re capable of. I don’t believe in vamps or ghosts or whatever, and I have no interest in writing about them. So I came up with a Fantasy idea: what if hi-tech objects possessed magical properties? What would a magical MP3 player do that a regular one can’t? That’s the inspiration for The Immortals. So what I want is to create or join a new SF/F crossover genre of high tech/magic. Sort of like futuristic steam punk fantasy. Or maybe it’s been done and I’m just kidding myself. Who knows. If I just focus on the characters I should be fine.

So now I’m heading into the dreaded Fantasy world. Wish me luck.

100th Post!!

100th Post!

Woot!

It's a party! OK to be fair, a lot these posts are part of my NaNoWriMo blogvel but still...

Now to follow up on a couple topics from yesterday's post:

This weeks BSG had a kind of surprise ending (spoiler if you haven't seen it):

They reach Earth... and "surprise" it's a post-apocalyptic dead zone. It appears that Earth has been destroyed far worse than Caprica was. Now was this really a surprise? No not really.

What would have been surprising?
Well I can think of a few things:

• Earth was the home of the "advanced" Cylons. Or some super-advanced cylons that leave the current ones in the dust.
• BSG meets the Federation. Or the Borg.
• WALL-E world!

Anyways, predictability = bad m'kay?

Okay so now that my rant is out of the way, how would everyone like some delicious Ten Fidy Imperial Stout...the best beer to ever come out of a can.

Go on, help yourself, just crash here if you start getting loopy. :)

I Can Do Better Than That...

I Can Do Better Than That...

Do you ever just read something or watch something on TV or see a movie and just say to yourself, "I can write better than that"?

I think part of the frustration is knowing that I'm sitting through a crappy movie when I could be home working on the next masterpiece. Or reading a book that makes no sense and uses awkward prose. It's like the author just mails it in. Do people really not care about the quality of their work, or is there so little good material out there that people will just film anything?

Here's an example: If you ever start thinking "Hey, what if my Main Character had an evil twin--" STOP!
The Evil Twin paradigm has been done to death. Yes, we all understand the yin-yang dichotomy of the modern intellect, but please...putting a goatee on someone and calling them evil doesn't fly any more.
No clones, twins, brothers, yourself from the future/past, a ghost of yourself, yourself from Dimension X, yourself as the opposite sex, the you that "should" have been, transporter accidents, lightning bolts, whatever. Enough is enough!


And for God's sake...enough of Vampires and Zombies! Repeat after me: DONE TO DEATH! Do you know what "done to death" means? That I'd rather die than watch or read another uncreative author/writer's take on vampires and zombies! ENOUGH!!
Create some other kind of monster already! Even the frickin Cookie Monster would be better. Imagine a thousand rabid muppets stalking you, wanting to eat your cookies. You would freak the hell out, beatch! Look at those googly eyes, and the deep cavernous throat. This SOB can pack a whole 10lb sack of Famous Amos before you even knew he was in the room. Look at the maw on this mother!

Come on folks, I know you can do better. No, wait...I can do better...so you'd better get your shit together because I'm coming after you!

Science Fiction Vs Fantasy Death Match

It's a head-to-head face off! It's a writing-genre smackdown, with no holds barred.
In one corner we have Mighty SciFi, Predictor of the Future, full of aliens and robots.
In the other corner we have Ephemeral Fantasy, Creator of Worlds, replete with fairies and demons.
Science Fiction, or Scifi as we'll call him, comes out swinging, beaming lasers and brain waves at Fantasy. But Fantasy won't go down that easy. She picks up a magic wand and turns the aliens into garden weasels! She surrounds Scifi with a magic light of joy.
But Scifi is having none of that. He teleports behind Fantasy and creates a micro black hole which no magic can escape from. Fantasy struggles, weakening against the inexorable pull of the hole. But what Scifi doesn't know is that Fantasy holds a magic ring which reverses time. After singing the incantation for the ring, all the magic erupts from the hole two-fold, as well as Scifi's lost turtle, and she turns Scifi into a basket of fish and chips which the fairies happily eat.

So what's the difference between Fantasy and Science Fiction? People seem to lump them together in some kind of "F/SF" wording. It's true they are both imaginary (so is all fiction) but that's about where it stops. Fantasy needs to be put in it's one little world and leave SciFi alone. Fantasy has no rules or limits. You can write whatever you want without and limits. If you get stuck...just invent some other magic thingy and you're saved! Science Fiction needs to follow the laws of physics...whether it's the current ones or ones that are speculative. There are rules, people!

Maybe someday I'll create a completely fantastical world. But I'm going to create a set of magic rules no one has ever heard of before. How about charmed iPhones and an all-powerful DVD that can raise the dead? Cursed mouse pads and trolls that feed off CPU cycles (at night of course). Giant walking GPS receivers that can track you anywhere. Fiber optic hexes. Websites that do your laundry. Magical Love Beer. I'd better stop before I actually create something...