WRITING CONTENT MOVED!

As of today, all new writing content on http://blog.dawnsrise.com has moved to The WriteRunner (http://blog.writerunner.com).

Please update your links and subscriptions accordingly!

I’ll still post links to new content here for a while.

Not sure what I’m going to do with this blog, but I’ll probably post things dealing with workouts, the Mariners, skiing (or the lack thereof), family, political opinion (if I’m brave enough), and life in general.

Thank you so much for your patronage of this site, your feedback and involvement has been invaluable!

Over the next couple weeks I’m going to re-do the layout of this site into a new format.

The Big “Nooo!” Moment

The Big “Nooo!” Moment

First, a quick word about my last post. After carefully reading the responses, I realized I may have made some generalities about readers’ expectations about why they read fiction. I think their point is well-taken: be careful when blogging to not make assumptions. However, I also feel that you should be unafraid to make strong points, because it leads to interesting discussion.

Now on to today’s topic. We’ve all seen it. It’s been parodied to death, yet many books and movies still use this tried-and-true method. Something happens that the character cannot control, eliciting the proverbial “Nooo!” or some variation. Darth Vader kills Obi-wan, and Luke says “Nooo!” and is dragged away. Frodo sees Gandalf die. “Nooo!” Sarah Connor first sees the Terminator (in Terminator 2). “Nooo!” Captain James Kirk’s “Khaaan!” counts, by the way.

Called the “Big No” trope,  it clearly signals an important turning point in the story. It’s a moment when the Bad Guy has his victory, when everything falls apart for the Hero. There’s only one thing left for the Hero to do: scream. But this “Nooo!” is more than just an outcry. It’s the Hero’s sudden recognition that not only is he facing physical harm and mental distress, it is that he is also facing the greatest enemy of all—Death. The stakes have been raised to their utmost.

Now when writing an adventure story like I have, I always had a couple “Nooo!” moments in mind. Especially writing Steampunk, there is one aspect that lends itself nicely to this: Airships. Airships are disasters waiting to happen. The Hindenburg proved that. But there are other dangers, one of which speaks to one of our basic fears: falling. And what happens when you combine an airship with falling? A “Nooo!” moment.

His hand slammed across Sophia’s face, a blast of pain that threw her to the deck. Viola shrieked and charged at him with clawed hands. He stepped aside and slammed the back of her head with the pistol. Viola stumbled, hit the railing, and flipped over with a scream, disappearing into the night.

“VIOLA!” Sophia jumped to the rail. “VIOLA! VIOLA!” No answer. She turned back.

Dunstan stood stricken. “No, no, nononononono.” He dropped to his knees, mouth agape.
– excerpt from Steam Palace 

What’s your favorite “Nooo!” Moment, from either your own work or popular movies/ fiction?

Conflict, Tension, and Stakes on Every Page

Conflict, Tension, and Stakes on Every Page

This post was inspired by these blog posts:
The Literary Lab – Lies You Believe
Victoria Mixon – 5 Writing Rules You Should Break

There has been some question about what the statement “You must have [conflict, tension] on every page [of your fiction manuscript]” means. I want to present my view on this, and hopefully demonstrate my argument as to the truthiness of this statement.

First of all, let’s be clear about one thing: There doesn’t “have to” be anything on any page. If you want a recipe on one page, a description of a setting sun on another, or an author’s treatise on the basics of fly fishing on another, go for it. I’m just going to demonstrate why generally you should have more.

First, some definitions for this argument:

• Conflict – A character has wants or needs and faces obstacles to fulfillment of these. These could be internal, such as the sometimes opposing need for love and autonomy.
• Stakes – The possible outcomes, good or bad, of a situation. Note that these also can be internal, like self-worth vs self-loathing.
• Tension – The doubt as to the outcome of a given situation, coupled with the reader’s desire to learn the outcome of a given situation.

My first posit is that all scenes contain conflict, stakes, and tension, on every page. The question really is, is the level of conflict, the depth of the stakes, and the degree of tension sufficient to keep a reader’s interest?

Let’s use a quick example of two teenagers, Mary and Sue, who have met to go to a movie:

Mary: Hey, let’s see Swords of Flame!
Sue: Cool! I’ve been dying to see it!
Mary: Let’s go!
Sue: Awesome!

It’s a simple scene. The conflict is almost non-existent: they agree. The stakes are low: the movie might suck. The tension is low: they are excited. The major question I have for you right now is: do you care what happens next? Did we even need to show that they agreed to the movie, or should we just fast-forward to the movie, or even later?

Now let’s take that simple scene and ask ourselves: what can I do to increase conflict, stakes, and tension? For conflict, we’ll get them to disagree (which is one of myriad ways to introduce conflict. Conflict is not always argument).

Mary: Hey, let’s see Swords of Flame!
Sue: No, you promised that we’d see Runes of Ruin!
Mary: But Jesse tweeted that he was going to Swords, and I replied. We have to go.
Sue: But I told you that my cousin Ralph is in the credits. We have to see Runes!

The conflict is obvious. But now, there are stakes. Sue has a familial connection with Runes, and feels an obligation. She also feels that Mary betrayed her, and wants Mary to keep her word. But Mary’s friend Jesse is going to Swords, and she wants to make a connection with him. For tension, hopefully there’s a interest in the reader in what happens next. Does Mary apologize for changing her mind? Do they go separately? Does this lead to more conflict between the two?

What I want to state is that there is not a binary there-is-or-there-isn’t conflict/tension on every page. There probably is some. The question is really how much? Can you increase it? Do your lower-tension scenes truly contrast with your higher-tension scenes?

I’ve heard it said, “well the reader needs a break. Not every page needs to be high-tension.” Yes. Not every scene is “defuse the bomb in thirty seconds or we all die.” But if you go on and on with low-tension scenes without conflict, then you really must ask yourself, “who is going to find this interesting?” The next question to ask yourself is “why should a reader care about any of this? Why should they keep reading? What’s going on that’s entertaining? Is there sufficient doubt as to the outcome, and are some of the outcomes pretty bad?”

It kind of goes to the heart of why you are writing this in the first place.

The reason readers read fiction is to find out, “what happens next? Is all the crap the character is going through going to be worth it?” The way to achieve this (among other ways), is to always consider the conflict, stakes, and tension level of every page, and increase it as much as you can.

For an exercise, take a look at any random page of any published novel (except for the last few pages where everything has been defused and random backstory prologues) and see if you can identify the conflict, stakes, and tension. Let me know what you find in the comments.

Inspiration Vs Perspiration

Inspiration Vs Perspiration

Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
     —Thomas Alva Edison

Whatever. Many of you know the story of why I call this blog “The WriteRunner”. (Hint: It’s not anything to do with Khaled Hosseini’s similar sounding novel.) I do my best writing while running (or working out). For some reason, the rhythm of the workout allows my mind to tune out and concentrate on the problems. There’s nothing to interrupt me, no cell phone, no email, nothing. It’s how I turn perspiration into inspiration.

When it comes to writing,  the above formula isn’t quite valid. There really isn’t any “work” involved in writing. (Copy editing maybe). Every sentence has to be inspired. There should not be a single “throwaway” word in your entire piece. No filler like, “then he went to the store, grabbed some chow, and then went to bed.” No! That’s uninspired. That’s when writing becomes work. The real work of writing is finding time to write. And then, of course, there’s the whole publication process, but we’ll ignore that for now.

I bring this up because yesterday I started debating whether to write or cut a planned scene. I couldn’t bring myself to write it. I’ve been telling myself lately, “if I don’t feel the scene, then the readers won’t either. If I’m not head-over-heels in love with a scene, then it’s wrong.” I even cut the scene out of my spreadsheet, but then I undid the delete. Something told me I needed the scene, but the outline I had for it sucked. Just two characters arguing. Boring.

The thing is, scenes need to matter. Arguments don’t cut it. Yes, the scene introduces a character. Yes, it shows a specific conflict and certain backstories that will be threaded throughout the book. Yes, there’s tension and setting and a bunch of stuff that I’ve mentioned in my Scene Structure series. But I didn’t want to write it. It had no Mojo.

So of course, I’m thinking about it this morning during my swim workout. (BTW, you know you’re a swimmer when you can think of anything but not drowning and maintain that thought over several laps). I looked at the scene from different angles, different points of view. Then I thought of another scene with the main POV character, where she’s motivated to hurt another character for no reason. Why? Dum dum DUM! Put her motivation into this scene! Inspiration during perspiration! Give her a goal, and to achieve that goal, she must hurt this other character. Now my characters are motivated. Done and done! This scene matters. Wheels have been set in motion. The world has changed, and nothing is the same as it was before.

Scenes are like one-way doors. (Think of an airplane hatch. Once it closes, you’re along for the ride, and you will not land back at the same airport). Every single scene in your novel must move your plot and characters to a new place, a new destination, from which they cannot escape without great effort. Words must be said that cannot be unsaid. Feelings must be hurt or otherwise altered. Actions have permanent consequences. The bullet cannot be put back in the gun.

Okay, enough rambling for today. How do you ensure that every scene changes the world? And can you turn your perspiration into inspiration?

Scene Structure Part X – The Little Things

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

The Little Things

A couple posts ago, I mentioned all the big things you can do to ruin a scene. Now here are a bunch of little things you can think about to make a scene shine.

• Mood – What is the mood of the setting? Dark or light, day, night, scary, confusing, quiet, desperate, cool, inside, outside, etc. How does the mood of the setting echo or contrast the mood of the characters? Are they fighting a war in a beautiful glade? Romance in a graveyard? Stealing from an old folk’s home? How does the mood of a place affect them? Do you illustrate the mood in tidy language without boring description?
• Transitions – Is the user placed in a scene? Are scene changes clear? Does the scene end on a note that leads to the next scene? How have you indicated passage of time? Change of setting? What in the setting has changed since the last time you used that setting? Is it clear who the POV character is?
• Emotion – It’s important to express the characters’ emotional state in each scene. Is it clear whether they are happy, sad, expectant, depressed, joyous, angry, delighted, jealous, determined, confused, etc? What is the emotional arc of the scene? How do emotions change? Do you illustrate the emotion without just saying, “she was angry” or the like?
• Subtext – This is the “story within the story.” Hidden attractions, secret liaisons, hidden agendas, moral qualms, secret identities, all the things that are unsaid but still exist. Is there more going on than meets the eye? Usually subtext is evident through the characters’ actions, rather than through inner or explicit dialog. Lingering touches, unexplained phone calls, unusual gestures, subtle things that the astute reader can pick up on.
• Style – Does the scene have a consistent style throughout? Is is consistent with other scenes written from the same POV? The style should also reflect the mood of the scene, choppy for action, slow and luxurious for more intimate moments. Does the style reflect the thought process of the POV character? Or is there a strong narrator’s voice guiding us through the story?
• Voice – Speaking of voice, this aspect of style can be critical. Is the scene interesting to read? Are there clichés, obvious similes, and other contrivances that dumb down the prose, or is the voice original, authentic, and unique? Aside from actually figuring out the plot, voice is perhaps the hardest aspect of writing to get right.
• Tension Level – As you go through your work, think about the tension level of each scene and rate it. Tension should vary, growing at times and relaxing at others. No one likes a rollercoaster that just goes down. Ups and downs, nice calm scenes, heavy terrifying scenes, and everything in the middle. Once you rate each scene, you can plot it in Excel to see the ride you take your readers on and adjust as necessary. Sometimes you need to let your readers breathe, other times you don’t.

And that’s really all I have to say about Scene Structure. I hope you’ve enjoyed the series. I posted my scene structure “cheat sheet” here. I actually started out the cheat sheet with information from this post on Make A Scene, so that site is another great resource for building scenes.

Good luck building scenes, and stay tuned for my next exciting series on….?

Scene Structure Part IX – Conflict

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Conflict

(Me talking about) Conflict is inevitable. Conflict is what drives stories. Conflict is especially important in scenes. If my last post described how to make scenes boring, this post describes how to make them exciting. Let’s start with a definition.

Conflict is when a character is faced with multiple choices and desires a particular outcome.

For example:

The black train rumbled down the track, smoke billowing from the stack. A toot blasted from its horn.

Okay, can you spot the conflict? No? Good. There isn’t any. You might wonder why it tooted, but all trains toot four times before crossing a road, so it could be anything.

Compare to:

The black train rumbled down the track, smoke billowing from the stack. A toot blasted from its horn. Susan pulled on her foot, hopelessly stuck in the switch point where the track split.

Now then, we have sense of conflict. We see a character who wants to get out of the way of the train. She has choices here. She can let the train hit her and kill her, she can lay down and maybe only lose the foot, or keep working on the problem.

Conflict occurs when a character’s needs are not immediately met.

Now how does this apply to scenes?

Every scene must contain conflict. Otherwise it’s just a description of a train running down the track. Not only that, but to keep readers involved in the story, every page should contain conflict. You heard me. Every page.

I read a lot of first pages in the recent First Page Blogfest. Most were brilliantly written, but the ones I enjoyed the best contained conflict from the very first sentence. The ones with no conflict made me think, “who cares? There’s nothing at stake here.”

Conflict Goals

• Establish the Stakes. In the first example, what were the stakes? None. The first paragraph or two of every scene must establish the stakes of that particular scene. Then it becomes easier to throw in some nice scenery, a little backstory, and some other notes of importance, but don’t get away from the conflict of the scene for more than a paragraph or two. The stakes may change as the scene progresses, generally increasing.
• Make the Conflict Matter. I have a whole post on this topic, but to summarize here, it’s much better in the long run if the character doesn’t achieve their primary goal in a scene. In the example above, a character dealing with the consequences of a severed foot are much more intriguing than if she escaped scot-free. But if she does escape, it must come at a cost. Otherwise, the train’s just a scary bit that doesn’t matter in the long run.
• Provide an Antagonist. Perhaps there’s someone standing there, watching Susan’s predicament, unwilling to help until she gives him the information that might lead to a loved one’s death. Characters with conflicting goals are the spice of literature. It’s not a requirement, but it does intensify the conflict if there are characters in opposition in every scene.
• Inner Vs Outer Conflict. Good scenes have both. Outer Conflict can be defined as a character’s goal facing external obstacles, whereas Inner Conflict can be defined as a character dealing with conflicting goals, where achieving one goal would prevent achieving the other. Susan wants to live, but she also wants self-respect, which she would lose if she acquiesced to the Antagonist’s demands.

Conflict Non-Goals

• Don’t Keep it Level. Conflict must ebb and flow, reflecting the level of stakes involved. If someone is running late for a date, don’t make him run over pedestrians like a fleeing bank robber. Then again, your fleeing robber shouldn’t wait for the crosswalk to clear. Don’t create conflict for the sake of creating conflict, it must be meaningful and appropriate. Consider crossing the guy running late for a date with the fleeing bank robber… ;)
• Don’t Leave Conflict Unresolved. Stories must progress. Create an outcome in your scene…hopefully a bad outcome which leads to greater conflict. It’s fine for an overarching goal to remain unresolved, but focus on what this particular scene is trying to achieve. You can only run late for a date for so long.
• Characters Resolve Conflict. Not magic fairies or the Lottery. The main character of a scene (and only that character) acts to resolve the conflict. Other characters might act to increase or prolong the conflict. The train won’t miraculously jump the track or stop just in time. The man’s date won’t call and say she’s running late and he needn’t hurry. The bank robber won’t have the cops decide he’s not worth pursuing and he can keep the money. These people are in serious predicaments, and the world will not change to accommodate them.

How have you ensured that you have conflict in every scene? Or page?

Scene Structure Part VIII – How To Make Scenes Boring

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR WHICH BLOGFEST I SHOULD HOST!

How To Make Scenes Boring

I think it’s time to use some reverse psychology on you guys. Instead of explaining how to tighten up your scenes, I’m going to go into detailed examples how how to suck the life out of them. If any of these techniques sound familiar, you might want to consider livening up your scenes.

• Lower the Stakes. What does the outcome of the scene mean to the character? Make sure everything is resolved right away. Don’t make things difficult or challenging. Make sure magic Fae drop in and deliver problem-solving wands and make the bad guys go bye-bye. Life-and-death struggles are a bit too exciting for modern readers. If something’s important to the character, just give it to him right away. Drawing these things out could lead to appearances on Oprah or Pulitzer Prizes, and no one wants that.
• Remove Conflict. Conflict is defined as a character’s Goals meeting Obstacles. Are there any annoying obstacles? Or, why even have goals for that matter? Make sure you don’t throw any monkey wrenches in there. Scenes should be as exciting as filling out a tax return…as an experienced accountant with years of service. Your characters should go with the flow, floating as gently as a dandelion seed in the wind, no cares or worries, nothing that makes him want to scream at every turn of the page.
• Remove Tension. Is there doubt as to the outcome? Should the reader even care about the outcome? Does the reader know anything the characters don’t? Do you lead the reader in the wrong direction? Shame on you. Everything should be nice and predictable, as clear as crystal. Don’t ever confound your readers, they might not have the brain capacity for that. Those morons can’t figure anything out for themselves, so make sure everything is lined up for them without a hint of confusion or misdirection.
• Write with Ponderosity. Yes, I just said, “ponderosity.” Look it up. Instead of saying, “she was drinking coffee,” you could say, “she was sipping a double mochachina latte espresso with whip and sprinkles while texting on her phone and examining her nails.” Explain everything to the Nth detail, just in case your readers missed something. Who cares if the details add nothing to the story? Don’t forget to mention how exactly the espresso was prepared, and the entire life story of the barista. The more words, the better, especially if they are obscure words no one has heard of before.
• ¡Viva la Backstory! Readers must know everything about every character, no matter how minor or trivial. Did you research the entire lifecycle of the glowworm? Throw it in there! No information is too random to exclude. Especially in the first few chapters, you must set everything up carefully so the reader doesn’t experience the least bit of confusion (or interest). What happened in the last 6000 years of Elfin History, year by year? Enquiring Minds want to (not) know! Throw it in there, you have the room. No need to interrupt backstory with any kind of action, that would distract the reader from your detailed expositional essay.
• Random Scenes Rule!   Need a break from your zombie apocalyptic epic? What about a scene covering the care of tulips? Do your characters travel a lot? Include a scene about every ride they take, and every conversation during those long, exhausting journeys. How were those dance lessons? Did they help ameliorate the slave trade in Eastern Europe? I definitely want to hear your character obsessing over her birthmark while delivering a child. It all makes total (non)sense!
• Maintain Status Quo. Your character has wrestled with the question of how to ask a girl out all night…and he’s no closer come morning. Kewl. Now let’s hear every detail about that inner dialog, for days on end. Still no decision? Great! How about a conversation with him mom that gets nowhere? How was his dinner? Fine? Alright! We’re totally getting nowhere! Send the bad guys out on vacation so they don’t bother him during his month-long introspection. Have his mom cook dinner so he can’t be bothered. The End. Awesome!
• Keep It Simple.  Are there any new elements? New props? New settings? New characters? If if there is, get rid of them. The characters shouldn’t be burdened with learning anything new. Pretty much the whole book should be an extension of the first scene. In fact, just write that first scene over and over again, and soon you’ll have a whole novel! Creativity is way overrated. No one likes a smarty-pants writer with a complicated world that the characters must learn to navigate at their own peril. Keep your characters safe at home.
• Don’t Let Anything Happen. Heavens forfend if the character actually does something to change his situation. Kill those activities! TV watching is the best way. Maybe have him play a video game no one has heard of or cares about. Bad guy bothering him? Relocate to the closet and let him play cellphone games. How could that be less exciting! Fighting bad guys is for the cops, not your character. Problem-solving is for brainiac eggheads, not your timid mama’s-boy.

I hope that’s helped you figure out how to take all the life out of a scene. Let me know if you have any other effective methods.

Scene Structure Part VII – Point of View

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Point Of View

Most scenes have a single Point Of View. Think of POV as a “camera” that’s recording the story. Where is this camera? Does a character control it? Or is it focused on one specific character? In either case, that character is considered the scene’s “POV Character.”  I’m going to address a few of the more common POV’s in use today. There are three basic dimensions of POV. Some of these are mutually exclusive; you generally don’t have Deep 1st Person Cinematic for example. Also I’m ignoring Past Vs Present tense, but your scene should maintain the same tense throughout.

1) First Person Vs. Third Person

Almost all literature is written in First or Third person. First Person is written as if the narrator was relating a personal story, using “I”, “me”, or “my” (and sometimes we/us/our) to refer to his character. In third person, the narrator usually never refers to himself. In some cases, the narrator is literally a “Third Person” set outside of the story, like a benevolent storyteller relating the story and pointing out its important moments.

2) Omniscient Vs Limited Vs Cinematic POV

Omniscient is the most “knowledgeable” POV. Every character’s thoughts and motives can be exposed at any time. This can lead to “head hopping” where the reader can follow each characters thoughts and feelings. Limited focuses on the thoughts and experience of a single character. In Cinematic, the writing is similar to a script—only speech and actions without any inner thought.

3) Exposition Vs Deep POV

This is the scale that determines how “close” the narrative is to the POV character. Deep POV is as if the “camera” has been placed inside the characters’ eye, so we experience the story only through their emotional journey. Exposition in this sense is a general description of the scene as viewed from far above.

Now I will attempt to illustration some of the more common examples of POV (all in past tense). The scene is one where a dog comes into the house covered with mud.

Third Person Cinematic POV

The dog entered the room, its black mane dripping with mud. Sally covered her nose and grimaced.

“What have you gotten into?” She glared at the dog.

The dog shook, tossing gobs of mud in every direction. Sally screamed and rose, turned to the nearby stairs.

“Marty! The dog! Help!”

Third Person Limited Exposition POV

Sally watched the dog enter the room, its black man dripping with mud. She covered her nose.

“What have you gotten into?” She glared at the dog.

The dog shook, tossing gobs of mud everywhere. Sally screamed, frustrated by the dog’s antics.

She turned to the stairs. “Marty! The dog! Help!”

Third Person Limited Deep POV

The clicking of the dog’s nails tore Sally from her book. She cringed, eying the dog’s black mane dripping with mud. A scent of rotten swamp assailed her nose.

“What have you gotten into?” Not again!

The dog shook, flinging globs of filth against Sally’s expensive new furniture.

Her blood boiled. This was all his fault. “Marty! The dog! Help!”

Third Person Omniscient POV

Reveling in her recent swamp excursion, the dog entered the room, her black mane dripping with mud. Wouldn’t Mistress Sally be pleased with her new scent?

Sally’s eyes turned black and she covered her nose. “What have you gotten into?” That stupid dog!

The mud itched so the dog shook, tossing gobs of glorious mud in every direction. Mistress Sally screamed.

That was it! The last straw! “Marty! The dog! Help!”

First Person Deep POV

I smelled the mutt before I saw her. She pranced into the room, proud as she could be, her black mane coated with muddy filth worthy of the local sewer.

I covered my nose and glared at the beast. “What have you gotten into?”

I saw it start. First, a twitch in the nose. Then, a shake of the neck. Finally—mud flew everywhere—right on my expensive new loveseat and matching end tables. A scream burst from my throat, an agony borne of a month living with this unkempt monster.

The beast panted at me, its tongue lolling. “Marty! The dog! Help”

Point of View Goals

• Provide the “right” amount of information for a scene. Sometimes you want to feature the character who’s experiencing the greatest ordeal, sometimes you want an uninvolved character who’s just relaying things objectively. Sometimes you want to hide feelings/thoughts/motivations, so you may want to avoid Deep POV’s. If you find that a scene is flat, trying changing it to a different POV. Even if you don’t keep the change, sometimes you’ll gain insight into the different characters in the scene.
• Make sure that it’s clear whose POV you are in, especially if it changed from a previous scene. Usually it’s clear from the first sentence, by using a name. Some authors even put the name in a scene header. This is especially important if you change POV between different 1st Person narrators.
• Each type of POV had pros and cons. First person can’t be Omniscient, although the narrator can sometimes relay things he thinks the other characters are thinking, or knows from past experience. Deep POV requires that you write strictly from one character’s perspective, preventing a broader look at the scene.
• Switching POV’s is fine, as long as there’s some consistency. Avoid doing it during a scene. If you find you switch a lot, maybe there’s another POV alternative to explore. A good rule of thumb is that you want to explore your Main Character’s POV more than any other character.

What POV do you prefer to write in?

Scene Structure Part VI – The Reversal

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

The Reversal

The Reversal goes by a few other names: The Disaster, The Twist, The Reversal of Fortune, The Turning Point (of the scene). Each of those terms has varying connotations, but I think the best way to address this concept is with an example.

JANE MCCONNELL and JOE JOHNSON are high school students. They both want to go to the dance with each other (Scene Goals). Somewhere in your outline or notes (or head) you write a scene, “Joe asks Jane to the dance.” So you write something like this (I’m going to stick to Omniscient POV for this exercise).

Example 1

“Hey Jane,” said Joe, huddling against Jane’s locker during a quiet moment between periods. “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you lately. I think you’re really special. Would you like to go to the dance with me?”

Jane drew a breath. Her friend had mentioned Joe had been looking for her. “Of course I would!”

Okay. For starters, there’s no Conflict, therefore, there’s no scene. If goals are met without resistance, then you’re just telling the news. To add conflict, add obstacles.

Example 2

Joe rushed through the school halls. Last break of the day, and he still hadn’t found Jane. He reached her locker just as she closed up and walked away. “Jane,” he gasped, sliding in front of her, “I only have a minute. Would you like to go to the dance with me?”

Jane stopped, surprised by the sudden question. This was kind of out of the blue, but not unwelcome. “I hadn’t thought about it, but yes, yes I would!”

Well, that’s a bit of conflict. But nothing’s changed. Start thinking about “what’s the worst thing that could happen here?” Here’s the thing. Asking Jane out is a major test for Joe. He’s got to want to do it, to earn it. And then fail at it.

Example 3

Joe raced through the school halls, searching for Jane before she left for the day. There, down near the cafeteria, she spotted her bobbing ponytail with her trademark pink ribbon. He pushed though the crowd and collided with Vickie.

“Watch it,” she screamed at him, pushing him off.

He jumped up, but a hand snagged his collar.

“Where are you running to, Mr. Johnson?” The gym teacher hulked over him, shaking him like a doll. “Slow down or we’ll be talking after school.”

“I will, I will.” Joe took four slow steps, then broke into a run. Oh no, Jane had left the building. Joe stumbled through the doors and out towards the bus line. Twenty buses stared at him, each identical. Which one held Jane? He jumped aboard each one, searching for the object of his mission. On the fifth bus, he spotted her.

“Jane, Jane.” She sat in the fifth seat.

Jane’s eyes grew wide and her heart beat a tick faster. “Joe, what are you doing here? This isn’t your bus.”

A group of giggling girls boarded and claimed the seats around Jane. “Oh Jane, who’s your geek leech,” asked one, sneering at Joe. “Go back to your nerd herd!”

Joe ignored them. “Jane, I’ve been trying to find you all day. I know this is kind of last minute but—will you go to the dance with me?”

Jane glanced at the faces around her. How she had waited for this moment. But this? “No! Joe, you need get off my bus, it’s about to leave!”

More than ever, we feel like Joe has really earned this, but to make a scene shine, it must contain a Reversal. What’s really different between this scene and the other two? Both achieve their goals when you think about it: Joe asked Jane, and Jane was asked by Joe. The reader now knows that they both want this dance thing to happen, but Joe broke all kinds of social protocols to do it, and Jane doesn’t want to be a laughingstock. The readers see what Joe did as almost gallant, but Jane sees it as an embarrassing display of desperation. So we have a Reversal in that Joe’s efforts went for naught.

The Reversal is one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal. If everything had gone well, then they’d be going to the dance together, but that situation is not a scene, and it’s not even a story, except in the newspaper sense.

The Reversal Goals

• Leave the reader guessing. If your outline says, “Joe gets Jane to go to the dance” then you’re going to have to construct the scene differently so that that result is not obvious. Maybe Joe is actually chasing Vickie and collides with Jane in the hall. Vickie’s bus takes off, and with it goes his chances. But after a lengthy apology for running her over, Jane hints that she’s looking for a date and he takes her up on it.
• Don’t meet goals/expectations. Characters are made to be disappointed. Success is earned at great cost, and characters lose more often than they win. Don’t make things easy for anyone.
• A Positive Reversal is still a Reversal. When a character expects disaster, make a good thing happen. Joe is depressed because he’ll miss the dance, but Joe’s friend Vickie—who’s loved him since the third grade—listens to him go on about Jane, then offers to be his date at the dance so he can participate.
• The Reversal changes everything. It’s not like you go to an ice cream shop and they’re out of strawberry so you get chocolate. It’s not that Joe messes up with Jane so he goes with Vickie. It’s that you go to an ice cream shop and they don’t have strawberry so you throw a fit and get permanently banned from the shop. It’s that Joe messes up with Jane and he’s going to mess up with Vickie too because he gets it into his head to “show up” Jane for rejecting him. He’s blown his chance with Jane and there are no backsies.

You can see that even when characters’ goals are aligned, things can still go horribly wrong, and that makes for juicy writing fodder. If Joe had just taken Jane aside in a quiet moment like in Example 1, things would have gone fine, but nothing would have been learned. The Reversal is there to expose the ugly flaws in our characters when faced with pressure and conflict. It’s to make that moment at the dance, when Joe finally gets together with Jane after all he’s been through, that much more special. (And then add a Reversal to that… :)

How do you keep your readers guessing?

Scene Structure Part V – Plot Circles

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Plot Circles

An interesting thing happened at my writer’s meeting the other day. One critiquer started asking me about various threads I left hanging, mentions of things not fully explained, strange words and other things. Since my story is a bit of a mystery, I’m sprinkling in clues for the reader to note. I did these things intentionally but subtly, trying not to call too much attention to them. But an astute reader will pick up on them and wonder, “what’s really going on?”

This is what I’m calling “Plot Circles.” Elements that appear earlier in the story must be addressed in later portions of the story. In fact, the more importance you give to them (judged by word count), the more they need to be addressed.

Here are some kinds on things that may need to be wrapped up later in a story.

• Props – Unless it’s pure background, every prop should be used at some point. The more you describe something, the more likely it will be used. Characters don’t focus on background unless they see a tornado approaching. Describe only what’s important to the character, and important for the reader to remember.
• Characters – Every character that acts, talks, or has a name is important. Don’t give “background” characters unneeded importance. If I’m in a coffee shop ordering a latte, I don’t provide the name of the barista or anyone in the shop unless it’s a recurring character.
• Actions – Not everything your character does needs to make sense. In fact, usual-acting characters will draw the reader’s attention. But every time you call attention to strange activity, the more importance you give it. If there’s a crazy man disrupting things, he’d better have an important message. If a character keeps checking a watch, the reader will expect that something’s about to happen.
• Communications – Notes, text messages, talking birds, calls from lost relatives, missives from Heaven, crop circles, these can all be great methods, but make sure they are followed up at some point. Sometimes the messenger can be as important as the message, but sometimes the messenger should be shot—ie, removed from the story.
• Mentions – Things like “you know we can’t do that” without explanation. Sometimes it’s more important what you leave out of a scene than what you leave in. Vague references, thoughts, implications, tics, avoidance, obsessions, fears—these can all give the reader pause and wonder if something bigger is going on.
• Misdirection/Lies – Some of these your reader can see clearly. Some are only revealed later. Characters lie to each other more often than not. They trust few people with the truth. However, without some dose of the truth, the reader will be lost. But more than that, lies are told for a reason, and that reason should be revealed at some point.

If you leave things hanging in early scenes, you need to complete the threads in later scenes. Here’s a list of some methods to wrap things up.

• Reversals – I’ll have a whole post about this, but here’s an example. In scene 10, Joe loads a gun carefully. In scene 20, when he needs it, it’s empty. Why? You see how we complete the circle, but start a new one. BTW there better be a damn good explanation why it’s empty or your readers will revolt.
• Revelations – Your character learns something new, a key piece of the puzzle. He puts 2 and 2 together. He connects characters. He sees things in a new light. He knows who the secret admirer is. He knows who emptied his gun. He now knows why he’s scared of dogs.
• Conclusions – Using deductive reasoning, Col. Mustard could not have used the pipe wrench in the library. Tie things together. Eliminate the impossible. Point the finger.
• Backstory – What haven’t we heard yet? What critical piece is missing? It might have been nice to know from the beginning that the main character has an older brother who is the true heir.
• Confessions – Faced with harsh reality some characters finally admit the truth. Whether coerced or out of guilt, confessions reveal a lot. Perhaps a level of trust or mutual admiration has been earned.
• Change – Lessons must be learned. What’s different now? Why did your character go through those hardships? Does he now know the proper salute?
• Reality – What’s really going on? I believe that narrators should be honest. If you say that the sky is blue in scene 1, it shouldn’t be magenta in scene 52 unless something really strange is happening. The discovery of reality must be character-driven, otherwise you’re just playing tricks with your reader.

Here’s a technique to make sure you don’t leave incomplete circles. Run through each scene, and if there is anything mentioned that is not explained or used in that same scene, mark it. Then as you find the answers later in the book, cross them off. Once you’re done, you’ll find a bunch of things you may need to correct. Examples: What ever happened to that beautiful vase of wildflowers mentioned in scene 20? Did we ever find out if she found her birth parents? Why didn’t they just go downtown and spend the $40 for a marriage license? We go on and on about the Immortal Gods in chapter 7 but then never use a single one of them. We know that she lied on her job application, but nothing’s come of it. In chapter 12 she’s addicted to Ebay but in 27 it’s like it never happened. Didn’t he ask her out in the last chapter? How many colors can the sky be in one book? There was a great scene with her mom in chapter 4 but then we never see her again.

How do you find and complete your plot circles?

Scene Structure Part IV – Information

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Information

Every scene contains a certain amount of new information. Information management can be one of the toughest aspects of crafting a story, since you want to build your world and your characters with drowning your reader with mind-numbing facts. Information can be divided into these general areas:

• History – Basically everything that’s happened from the beginning of time up until this point of the story. Family history, social history, geological history, corporate history, births and deaths and everything else.
• Setting – Where things are, what they look like, and what things that can be manipulated. Buildings, roads, rooms, tokens, animals, coffee cups, climate, local dress, mobile objects like cars, dragons, etc.
• Character – Who are the characters, what do they know, what are their relationships, what are their individual beliefs, what are their motivations. Just keeping track of a cast of hundreds can cause a migraine. Make charts if you have to.
• Value Systems – Whether codified in law, religion, or custom, these systems can have complex rules and interpretations. Every action your character does either aligns or is against accepted value systems. 19th century people didn’t use cell phones. What was their mode of communication? Women didn’t wear jeans back then either, and couldn’t vote. Make sure your rules and customs are consistent with the setting.
• Object Skills – From swinging a broadsword to reciting an incantation, object skills help a character interact with the world around them. Many of these skills must be mastered to progress in the story.
• Life Skills – How to kiss, how to raise a child, how to pay taxes. These are harder to define than object skills, but they are usually more important. The character must master some important Life Skill to prevail in the end, but there are some smaller skills they can work on in the meantime.
• State – This is sort of the catch-all knowledge-base. The position of characters in the setting, where all the objects are, the weather, time of day, who knows what about whom, even hidden things not obvious to the reader or the characters. What are they wearing? Holding? Body position, facial expression, pitch of their voice. Are they expecting someone? Waiting for a bus? This is the “what’s going on right now” question.

In every scene, the POV character is going to acquire either information and/or skills that will help them along their journey. Note that these lessons may not be easy, and some knowledge is won at a very high price.

I think it’s important to impart some portion of each of those bullet points above in every scene. The next question is, what techniques to use to make this information flow seamlessly to the reader without appearing forced? Here are some ways:

• The Information Dump (info dump). In very foreign (to our experience) settings, especially fantasy worlds, you may just need to explain the setting and the rules to the reader. The danger of this method is boring the reader, but done well, it can be a fascinating look at another world.
• Exposition. Similar to the info dump, you basically include an essay about your world in your story. This is a non-dialog method of explaining the world. Keep it as short as possible.
• Training. A character acquires a Mentor who guides them through the nuances of their world. The Mentor is there to impart critical information, but the character usually must pass some tests to earn each piece of info. The Mentor may not have the character’s best interests at heart, so something false information can create challenges for your character later on.
• Goal-oriented Problem Solving. Your character is trying to accomplish something, and must interact with the setting and characters to do it. Perhaps they are exploring the world, noting things as they go, providing the reader with their impressions of what they find.
• Dialog. Your character is allowed to ask questions…unless they already know the answer. Be wary of the “As you already know, Bob…” Interactions with other characters is very revealing.
• The Novice. A good technique is to create a “novice” character who, like the reader, knows little about the world they’re in and must be inquisitive to survive. Be wary of exposition in dialog where characters go on lengthy explanations about the world.
• Prologues. If you must, prologues are handy for explaining a key part of the backstory. However, when you review published literature, you’ll find they are rarely needed even when they’re included. Use them sparingly.
• Consequences. To help learn the rules of the world, characters should break them, and then face the consequences. The rules are there for a reason, and can reveal a lot about the people who crafted them.
• Research. More character-directed than Training, the character goes to a library or Google to find out key information. But as you know, there’s nothing more boring to a reader than hearing about keyword searches, so stick to the highlights.

Another point is that your character must grow in each scene. Whether growing in skill, knowledge, or in experience, each scene is like a mini life-lesson.

What techniques do you use to pass along information to your characters and readers?

Scene Structure Part III – Characters

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Characters

So far we’ve talked about Setting, that your scene needs to take place somewhere, and Theme, that your Scene needs to matter to the rest of the story. But of course, your scene is going to require some Characters.

Let me start with a Question.

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a scene?

Answer: Not unless it falls on the bad guy. Or onto my bedroom, as in the case in the picture above. (from Dec. 2006)

Today we’re not going to get into the myriad aspects of what makes good Conflict, but let’s talk about a few other aspects of Character and how it relates to Scenes. First of all, every scene contains a Protagonist. This is not necessarily the “good guy” or the main character. In terms of scene, this is the main actor of a given scene. Even in 1st Person POV*, if the narrator is talking about what happens to someone else, that someone else becomes the Protagonist of that particular scene. However, a good rule of thumb is that the Protagonist usually is the POV character—the  “person of interest” if you will.

A couple things identify a Protagonist in a specific scene:

1. The Protagonist has at least one goal for the scene worth acting upon. A Protagonist does not let others dictate his immediate future.
2. Those goals drive the Scene and the Conflict.
3. We know enough about this person to understand why he’s here, although we may not know his motivations. If not, these reasons should become apparent. If you include a scene with a clockmaker trying to fill his quota, then he never shows up again, ask yourself if that scene was really necessary.
4. The Protagonist acts, not just thinking, observing, or passively participating. If she’s sitting in a coffee shop working on a term paper and there’s a hold-up, then make sure this hold-up affects her goals. Maybe she acts small to avoid notice. Maybe she argues with them. Maybe they try to steal her laptop with the term paper and she goes ballistic. But if the scene is, “while she’s sitting there, robbers come in, hold up the barista, steal her laptop, and she thinks about lunch,” then you might have an issue.
5. The Protagonist has a certain mood or emotional state. “Glad to be in the scene,” is not a valid state. Happy, sad, curious, concerned, frightened, envious, lustful, disgusted, what is their state? Is it clear?

Character Scene Structure Goals

• Include at least one character acting on their goals. Without a character, you are just writing exposition, which can be interesting but it’s not a scene.
• Characters must come alive on the page. Gestures, expressions, speech patterns, clothing, body language, inner thoughts, all these things can be used to reveal your character’s goals and current mood. If you were observing the scene, what would you notice about the character? If your character is the POV character, what would they notice about themselves? Others?
• Her actions must match her mood and goals. Characters act for specific reasons. If your character’s dog just died, she’s probably not going to be that excited about going out on a date with a stranger. She’s going to act mopey and depressed, and her goal may be to exit the date as soon as possible.
• Stories are about people who go out and do things and learn from their mistakes. Whereas most of us spend our lives sitting in front of the TV, reading books, or farting around on the Internet, fictional characters live eventful lives and go out and do interesting things and meet interesting people. So a scene where your character watches TV or reads or plays Farmville is not going to cut it. Cut it.

Non Goals

• Don’t explicitly explain motivations and backstory or write detailed character profiles in your scene. Let the character’s action speak for themselves, and only fill in backstory when absolutely necessary.
• Every character in your scene will have differing goals, even when they agree. This also helps distinguish your characters from one another. If you find you have two characters who essentially want the same thing, consider combining them into one character.
• Avoid writing character actions “because this needs to happen now.” Keep your characters consistent, but not completely predictable because that’s boring. Make them have unique approaches to solving their problems, but their goals should be fairly universal, like eating, making friends, avoiding zombies, etc.
• Reacting ≠ Acting. Even if your character is being chased by evil hordes of zombies, give him a specific escape goal like climbing to a roof or reaching the zombie-proof über-tank. Sitting there getting your feelings hurt is not acting. Sitting there getting your feelings hurt and plotting sweet revenge is better.

What are your characters trying to accomplish in a given Scene? How do you show the reader?

*POV Point Of View. We’ll get into POV in another installment.

Scene Structure Part II: Theme

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Theme

Your book has a Theme*. It’s the whole reason you wrote the book, the point you’re trying to make. Here are some examples of themes:

• Power Corrupts
• Grieving is a Process
• Love Conquers All
• The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
• Fight for What’s Right
• Illness can be Overcome
• Children are a Blessing

Every single scene in your book should contain a microcosm or a slice of the overall theme. Let’s take “Grief” for example. We’ve all heard of the Five Stages of Grief. We can assume that your character is travelling through these stages. So how does each scene encompass this theme? Well, your character is either in denial, angry, bargaining, depressed, or accepting. You may have some scenes in the beginning of the book where the character is not grieving, but even on those cases, there should be some Foreshadowing of the main theme. Why is your character uniquely set up to grieve in a way that readers will connect with? Grief comes from loss, so clearly illustrate what the character is about to lose.

Another way to think about Theme is to compare it to Blogging. You follow different bloggers for different reasons. You may follow this blog for writing tips. If today I decided to post a long analysis of yesterday’s Superbowl, comparing the Saints’ aggressive tactics with some of the greatest performances in Superbowl history, many of you would yawn and move to the next blog, and maybe a couple would be interested. This is what happens when you go off theme—you lose the reader. If you give the grieving character a love interest and start exploring themes of step-families and child-rearing, unless this love interest directly relates to the grieving process, you will confuse the reader. Sure, some would relate, and might find it interesting, but generally it’s just a distraction that will detract from the overall story. If you go off-theme, make sure you have a good reason that will make sense to the reader in the end.

Theme Goals

• Every Scene explores part of the Main Theme. If your character adopts a puppy, their grief should color the entire transaction, from choice of dog to how they treat the pup.
• Even the Secondary Themes must relate to the Main Theme. Maybe there’s a right and wrong way to grieve. Some of the subplots can explore how certain people get stuck in certain stages. They still must be related.
• Each character explores a different aspect of the same theme. They play the different roles needed for your main character move forwards. Some might have dealt with grief before. How do they help? Some might never have experienced this level of loss. How does their lack of empathy hurt the main character?

Non-Goals

• At no time should you tell, clue, or otherwise inform the reader what the Theme of your novel is. This is for the reader to decide. You might have thought your Theme was “Grieving is a long, hard process,” but your reader might think, “the love of your friends and family help you through hard times” and never even think about the Stages of Grief. I read a YA book recently where the author put a blurb in front of each chapter explaining what the theme of each chapter was. I usually disagreed with her and found the blurbs annoying. Do not hammer your reader over the head with the theme.
• On the other hand, don’t hide the theme too deeply. Remember, you are trying to illustrate a point or teach a lesson about life through your characters, so when you draw your conclusion at the end, the reader should understand completely, even if they weren’t sure before. If you go on and on about dealing with grief and then your character succeeds by learning that Power Corrupts and he should give away his riches, you’ve lost the reader. Why go through the grieving process if your character doesn’t learn something from it, and then a magic fairy gives him an elixir that makes him feel all better?

Do you know what the themes are in your writing? Have you checked to make sure you move them forward in every scene?

*Image is apparently the cover art for some edition of Moby Dick. What’s the theme of that book, and how does Melville show that in every scene?

Scene Structure Part I: Setting

After my series on Story Structure, I’ve decided to begin a series on Scene Structure.

Setting

Every scene needs a Setting. Everything happens somewhere, where it’s on the plains of the Serengeti, the inner contours of the human brain, a derelict spacecraft, or a 2-dimensional Flatland, your Setting is a crucial piece of your story.

Some people have described Setting as the Third Main Character (after Protagonist and Antagonist). It’s a great way to create Conflict: create a setting that actively helps or hinders your Protagonist. A setting is filled with wondrous objects and activities. Divide the setting into these general categories.

• Background – The walls, the static objects, things you can’t really interact with. Use all 5 senses to describe. What can the characters see? Smell? Hear? Touch?
• Items – Things that can be interacted with. Doors or thresholds, weapons, cell phones, steering wheels, keys, the gun that wasn’t there five minutes ago. These can be props or doohickeys or thingamajigs, all with certain rules governing their usage.
• Activities – What is going on? Are there people chatting? Spaceships approaching? Dragons circling? Kids playing innocently? Signs flashing dire warnings? An angry crowd forming? A volcano erupting?
• Potential Obstacles – What in the setting could be potential pitfalls? The cop sitting by the window. The growling dog. A watering system about to turn on. Laser beams crisscrossing the room.

The more lifelike you make your Setting, the more your Characters can interact with it. Think about where you’re sitting right now as you read this. I’m in a coffee shop. Nothing much going on, but let’s make this coffee shop come alive as a Character.

• Background – Coffee products, menus, customers, newspapers, baristas, cloudy sky, coffee smell, soft music, bathroom, trash can, tables & chairs, lighting, wi-fi, TV, territorial view of gas station/strip mall, lighting. I can describe each of these in detail, but unless this coffee shop is in every scene, I should only describe a couple.
• Items – Laptops, newspapers, coffee cups, cell phones, doors, wallets, snacks, coffee condiments
• Activities – Man bringing in supplies, baristas cooking, cars passing by, kids playing, people coming and going, conversations, news on the TV
• Potential Obstacles – Hot coffee, spilled coffee, loud conversations, hostile customers, annoying kids, high prices, empty wallet, bitchy baristas, no tables, piles of trash or dirty tables, “out of” your order, order made wrong, fire alarm, occupied or broken bathroom, bad music, bad news on the TV, policemen entering for drinks, random people entering with issues, cars plowing through the window,  lights failing, espresso machine exploding, loud machinery, overpowering stenches, furniture breaking, robbery of store, customer fist fight, ringing cell phones, crying babies. You can see how an innocent coffee shop is filled with peril.

So how do we turn this coffee shop into a living, breathing character? First of all, you must start with your character’s Goal. Why is he here? Why a coffee shop? Why not a barber shop or a grocery store?  Is he here with a date? Is he flirting with the help? Is he working on an important assignment?  Is he worthless without coffee? Trying to relax after a hard day? A quick pick-me-up? A clandestine yet public meeting? Applying for a job here? Delivering supplies?

Once you know the character’s Goal, figure out what he notices about the coffee shop. If he’s in a hurry, it’s the slow service. If he has a headache, it’s the loud conversations. If he’s eyeing the barista, it’s her charm coupled with her disinterest. If he’s on his way to an interview, of course he’s going to spill the coffee on himself. Make the Setting Matter. If he’s struggling with commitment, fill it with either blissfully happy or hatefully arguing couples. Think of yourself as a god. It’s your job to create a setting that guides your characters in a certain direction, like there’s an “Unseen Hand” moving your character along. If your character is in a bad mood, the cheerful flowers mock him, they don’t soothe him. If he’s in a great mood, then the coffee is outstanding, and everyone in the room hushes in his presence.

Setting Goals

• Reflect the character’s mood. It’s a dark place if he’s in a dark mode. It’s a flowery, glittery place if he’s feeling romantic.
• Be there for a reason. Private Eyes don’t set up meetings in schoolyards unless somehow the children are involved. They go to back alleys or somewhere obscure.
• Interact in an appropriate way. Coffee shops don’t have copy machines and book printers. That’s an office store.
• Include only the items that matter to the story. Don’t tell me that the coffee shop has brochures and urns of creamer, unless the brochures tell me something important or the urns contain spoiled milk. Maybe the kids are loud, but if your character is a parent of five, the kids probably don’t bother him like they would a bachelor with little experience.
• Use all five senses. Smells are especially evocative for readers. It’s our oldest and most powerful sense. Every scene smells like something. If I tell you “the coffee shop exploded with the aroma of bittersweet java mixed with vanilla and chocolate overtones,” that’s far more powerful than saying “they offered espresso, mocha, and flavored drinks.”
• Focus. In Deep POV or First Person POV, focus on what the POV character experiences, and nothing more. But even in wider POV’s, it’s good to limit the description to what impresses the characters.
• Detail. The more important a setting, the more it should be described. Conversely, if your Character is only “passing through” on his way to another setting, don’t bother with much if any description.

Non Goals

• Don’t include every detail in nauseating exposition. Stick to a couple important points. Find the most efficient (fewest words) way to convey the scene. Endless descriptions bore the reader, and leave him struggling to figure out what’s important.
• Don’t highlight (or even mention) items that don’t matter. Don’t describe a fabulous mug for sale unless he buys it, breaks it, or throws it at someone.
• Don’t avoid setting altogether. Give the reader something to hold onto. “We were sitting there drinking coffee…” does not imply anything about setting. Where is “there”?
• Don’t make the setting completely static. Unless you’re in a sensory deprivation tank, there’s always something happening. Doesn’t mean describe everything, but what are the things that impact the characters?

How has Setting affected your story? How can you use the Setting for a greater impact?