WRITING CONTENT MOVED!

As of today, all new writing content on http://blog.dawnsrise.com has moved to The WriteRunner (http://blog.writerunner.com).

Please update your links and subscriptions accordingly!

I’ll still post links to new content here for a while.

Not sure what I’m going to do with this blog, but I’ll probably post things dealing with workouts, the Mariners, skiing (or the lack thereof), family, political opinion (if I’m brave enough), and life in general.

Thank you so much for your patronage of this site, your feedback and involvement has been invaluable!

Over the next couple weeks I’m going to re-do the layout of this site into a new format.

Romance Blogfest: Steam Palace

Romance Blogfest: Steam Palace

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

This is my entry for Jordan McCollum’s Romance Blogfest. Her instructions are: “Post a first meeting between two characters who will fall for each other (even if it doesn’t look like they will at the time!).” Please check out the other entries!

This scene is from the first chapter of Steam Palace where our Heroine Sophia is rescued by a mysterious stranger. Hank had been pursuing her, trying to force her to marry him.

Sophia’s world was crashing, burning around her. A man dead? she thought in disbelief. She looked at the four faces that surrounded her, all seeking her mortal harm. Two lifted Jim’s body onto his saddle. She had done that man a grievous wrong, and she ached to think of Jim’s family.

Despite the horror, Sophia would not be forced into a marriage with someone she did not love, no matter what the circumstances. That left only one path. Sophia ducked under Al’s arm in an escape move, breaking his hold, and ran through the woods with all the effort she could muster. She would fight them all the way to the gallows if necessary.

“You can’t run from this!” cried Hank behind her, no doubt mounting his horse in pursuit.

If she could just reach the mechohorse, the shotgun lay in its belly. Just as she reached the trail and spotted the machine, horses surrounded her once again, circling her. Sophia turned every which way but could not find an opening. Hank pulled out his pistol and shot at her feet, the reports echoing throughout the forest.

“Dance, Duchess, dance!”

A different boom rattled the trees. A lone horseman stood on the trail. A black hooded coat draped his head and shoulders. He rode on a magnificent chestnut mare worthy of the King’s Guard, holding a long, smoking rifle at the ready. “I shall not miss again,” he called.

“Hey, get the hell out of here!” cried Hank. “This ain’t your business. This woman killed one of my men, and we aim to have our revenge.”

The dark rider leveled the rifle and peered down the sight. “Say the word, milady, and I shall dispatch these men to their graves. This is a repeating Spencer, boys, fully loaded.” His voice spoke cool and calm.

[a lot of fighting and shooting ensues including an airship attack]

Sophia crept out from under the belly of her broken mechohorse. The dark rider rode his mare out from under a tree where he had hidden from the airship.

“Are you hurt, milady?”

Sophia examined herself for a second, and then looked up at the man who had saved her endless grief. “I am quite well, thank you. To whom do I owe gratitude?”

The man removed his hood. “Thomas Putnam, formerly Captain in the Third Aivy. This is Lucy.” He patted the mare.

“Thomas?” Sophia had not heard that name for years. Thomas was the son of the town’s only physician, a foreign woman from Charlottiana. He had been in the Aivy, the Air Navy as it were, for many years. “Thank you so much. I am forever in your debt.”

Sophia studied him. He looked terrible, with sunken eyes and many days’ growth of beard, quite unlike the tall, strong boy she remembered. His dark wavy hair lay plastered to his scalp. But she saw something else in his eyes, a strength of character missing in most men she had encountered in her life. She instinctively knew she could trust him.

“Do you require any further assistance?”

Sophia glanced at the mechohorse. “I believe she is done for. Might I request a ride to my home?”

“It would be my honor.” A hint of a smile crossed his lips.

What Makes a Hero

What Makes a Hero

In the last two weeks, against the backdrop of me frantically preparing for this week’s Writer’s Digest Conference, I’ve had two massive projects dropped in my lap.

The first, which I’ve chronicled in my last two posts, is the story of my cousin Barney and his heroic rescue of his family from persecution in the 1920’s.

The second, which I won’t detail due to privacy issues, is the memoir of a new member of one of my writing groups where he chronicles his dealings with mental illness. Let’s call him Joe. I’ve been helping him figure out how to structure his account.

Both are true stories, and both share something amazing: a true Hero in both the real and the literary sense of the word. As I learn about both stories, I realize that these are stories that absolutely must be told. Not only that, they both revolve around probably the greatest motivator in the world: the need for love and connection with our fellow man.

Here are some of the things that makes them Heroes.

• They are broken in some way. In Barney’s case, in 1920 he is living with his sister at 25. He seems to be stuck in some kind of rut. We’re still researching, but it seems to me he led a quiet, sheltered life without much interaction outside of his house. But he left his family to come to America at an early age—why?
  In Joe’s case, let’s just say at age 40 he’s an incomplete man but he want to be complete. He wants relationships and family.
• They are presented with a challenge/invited to go on a Journey. Barney is faced with a letter from the old country pleading for help. Joe falls in love with a woman, probably for the first time in his life.
• The Journey is dangerous. Mortally dangerous (is there any other kind?). This is not a journey to take lightly. Barney literally faces armed forces. Joe literally faces Demons. (not supernatural. I can’t be more specific than that but I assure you that they are violent and malevolent).
• The Journey promises a great Reward. In Barney’s case, it is the reunification of his family. In Joe’s case, it is even simpler. He’s looking for love.
• There is a parallel, inner Journey occurring. On the outside, both men are fighting for their families, taking on the demons that block their progress at every turn. But the greatest demons are the ones in our own heads. What the Journey teaches them, by defeating the outer demons, is how to take on their inner demons and win.

So now, the question for me as I head to New York, is what about little Miss Sophia Stratton, the main character of Steam Palace? Does she in any way compare to these real-life heroes?

I see her story a little like Barney’s. She leads a somewhat sheltered life. She’s avoided relationships, lived with her mother and older sister’s family (whoa---way parallel). She’s kept her nose to the grindstone, perhaps like Barney, and never looked at the “bigger picture.”

She’s had Calls to Adventure in the form of letters from her Aunt, begging her to visit, but it’s not until her own life becomes so untenable that she accepts it. In Sophia’s case, the Journey isn’t quite as well-defined, which may be something I need to look at. It’s actually a series of journeys, all revolving around her twin sister Viola. At the core, Sophia is trying to honor her father’s memory, to right a wrong that occurred long ago.

The Reward for Sophia is fairly clear: her family survives. But she is presented with an even greater reward: if she completes the journey, she will gain what her father lost: their ancestral lands and peerage. But there’s a reward greater than all of those out there: her twin sister Viola. This goes to the heart of the Evil Twin metaphor: by confronting your twin, you are really confronting yourself. Sophia not only sees what she could have become, but she learns to appreciate what she has. So if she can come to terms with Viola and who Viola is, Sophia is really coming to terms with who Sophia is, and that’s the Inner Demon she must ultimately conquer. Like Joe, Sophia realizes that her love for her sister can heal Viola, and by doing so, can heal the hole in her own heart left when her father died.

Have you looked at your own work to see what your character gains from the Journey? How do they change, and what do learn from the experience? How do they start broken in some way and then wind up more complete?

Writing Query Letters

Writing Query Letters

Apparently there’s some kind of “tradition” floating about the publishing industry called the “Query Letter”. The Query Letter is a concise one-page description of your work and about you. It can include elements such as a teaser, a short paragraph about the book, and an author’s credits. I’m not going to pretend I know diddly squat about writing them here. All I know is that they’re a stepping stone, the first step to publication. It must entice a potential agent just enough to get them to read a synopsis or even the whole book.

But like lipstick on a pig, not every agent will love your query, no matter how well-written the query (or the book) is. It’s just something to get you into the door, to distinguish you from the 100 other queries that agent has received that day. (It’s not a job I’d envy). The ironic thing is that the best authors may not write the best queries, and vice-versa. Yes, I keep telling myself that. Actually a bad query just sucks.

Here’s the only real piece of advice I have. I think queries should represent the book. Put the most heartfelt part of your story into the query and go with it. Let your self show. Oh, and try to avoid grammatical and spelling errors.

So what do you do when you think you’re ready to query? Here are 3 sites I recommend posting your query on for feedback:

Agent Query Connect
Query Tracker Forums
The Public Query Slushpile

With that said, here’s the latest query for Steam Palace. Comments encouraged.

December 6, 2010

Agent Name
Agency
Address
City, State, Zip

Dear Ms. Super-Duper Agent,

After meeting your Evil Twin, you might just wonder which one you are.

In a world swimming in mechohorses and dirigible aivies, where the former New England colonies created a British-style monarchy, a newborn twin is stolen. Sophia is raised in a noble house and provided every advantage, while her unknown twin Viola suffers crippling poverty. A score and three years later when they first meet, Sophia is destitute; her family name and lands a victim of an unfortunate dispute with the King. Meanwhile, to Sophia’s horror, her doppelgänger Viola lives a rich, vile life off the profits of sin.

To restore her family name and ‘save’ her newfound sister from an ignominious fate, Sophia enters Viola’s dark world of the Steam Palace, a floating den of iniquity built upon a derelict barge. When Sophia’s rebuff of the Duke—Viola’s secret lover—leads to an imminent invasion the monarchy, Sophia wonders which is truly the ‘Evil’ twin. She must unite with wretched Viola to protect their families before their steam-powered enemy exterminates their hated race…Americans.

STEAM PALACE, a Steampunk Adventure, is complete at 120,000 words. I have completed a Creative Writing certificate course at the University of Washington, completed Holly Lisle’s “How To Revise Your Novel” online course, and I co-host a local critique group.

Thank you for your consideration.

WriMo SchmiMo

WriMo SchmiMo

Okay, I’m sitting on the horns of a dilemma.

Remember about 6 weeks ago I made an announcement that I would write a sequel to Steam Palace for NaNoWriMo? Problem is that I have this other idea that’s been festering in my head for a long time. It’s a detective story. Not Steampunk, not Sci-Fi, future, past, or anything. Just a contemporary mainstream murder Mystery in a local setting. (Okay, there will be high-techy stuff in there…come on).  Have I ever written a mystery? No. Not even a short, not even a flash. Do I read a lot of mysteries? No. I do watch them on TV…does that count?

So why this story? Why am I considering this crazy idea? I’m not going to talk about the specifics of the concept here, at least not until after NaNo. Suffice it to say that it’s a mother-son sleuthing duo, told from the son’s POV. Here is my reasoning:

1. Steam Palace 2 (SP2), from everything I’ve worked on so far, is extremely complicated. Sophia meets her eviler twin. That’s going to take some doing. Not only that, but I want to do it “right”, meaning that I want to focus more on quality during the first draft, and hopefully reduce the editing load. More organized, planned, thought-through, etc.
2. I want to build some more writing “chops” before I start SP2. I feel I am still missing some core writing skills, mostly in the area of characterization and POV.
3. Why write SP2 before SP1 is sold/contracted? Yes, it may be easier to sign a contract with at least a first draft of SP2 completed, but maybe I’m carting before horsing. I think it’s of minimal benefit.
4. I am intrigued the idea of crafting a short novel, 60K or so, and self-publishing it. If there’s success then maybe I follow with a full-length version I can try to go to publishers with. Or it might help sell SP1.
5. I might be good at writing mysteries. I don’t know. But I feel the need to take a “break” from F/SF for a month. And absolutely no one in my critique groups writes them…so maybe there’s a need. (Or I’m just misguided). Whether it’s a success or not, I think exploring the mystery genre and tropes may help me in other genres.
6. I really love the concept. I think I have some unique characters. The problem I have is creating a compelling crime with clues etc. But that’s what the next 2 weeks are for. I’ve defined all the main character-character conflicts, so now it’s more about the nitty-gritty details. I want to keep it simple and the word count low.

So maybe those reasons are wonky. I have some great thoughts for SP2, but I don’t think I’ll be ready to draft it quite so soon, it needs a lot more thought. And after NaNo, I’m also going to turn my attention to another neglected project, The Immortals, and try to figure out what to do with it. Meanwhile I am still working on marketing SP1, more about that in an upcoming post.

So as of now I am strongly leaning towards the mystery concept. This should be fun.

I Am Finished!

I Am Finished!

I am finished with Revision Three of Steam Palace! And no, I don’t know what John McCain is so happy about it, especially since I didn’t vote for him and he lost, but there he is, giving me the big thumbs-up. I guess he’s finished too. :)

Lots of interesting things happened along the way. After Revision Two, my manuscript was at 117K words. I made some brutal cuts, shaving it down to ~97K, really close to my target of 95K. Guess what? After 2+ months of revision, it’s right back to117K. WTF? Well, many of those cut scenes contained critical information, so that information returned into other scenes. I’ve done some calculations, and to get back to 95K, I’d have to cut 140 words  from every scene (1/2 page). That doesn’t sound like much, but there are 98 scenes. Or by chapter, it’s 1,400 words per chapter (5.5 pages). I don’t think I can cut 20% of the book at this point without spending many more months at it.

So what’s my plan from here? Work on a marketing plan, figure out my target agents/houses, and Sell, Sell, Sell!

My query letter will go up on query critique sites, here too if you want to take a look.  At the same time, I am plotting out Steam Palace II. I have tons of ideas rattling around my head.

On Nov. 1, I put all this aside and write Steam Palace II for NaNoWriMo. Will having two of a series help me sell? Who knows? Time is running short.

Countdown To NaNoWriMo 2010!

Countdown To NaNoWriMo 2010!

Yes, today is the day I begin my countdown to 12:00 AM, November 1, 2010 PDT, the official start to this year’s NaNoWriMo. See the little countdown clock? The new tab at the top of the blog? 60 days remain until the greatest annual writing event in the history of mankind begins.

What is NaNoWriMo you ask? What’s wrong with you? Okay, for those who live in caves or need a quick refresher, let me explain. NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to write a 50,000+ word novel during the month of November, starting from Midnight the morning of Nov. 1 to Midnight Nov. 30. Last year there were a staggering 167,150 participants and 32,178 winners. Don’t be left out!

Okay, before I go into my plans for this year’s NaNoWriMo, let me give some status updates. As you probably have noticed, I’ve been very inactive in blogging, blogfests, or even commenting on blogs. This is because I’ve been heads-down trying to finish the current revision of Steam Palace (which I wrote for NaNo 2009). I had targeted today to finish but it looks like I’m still 2-3 weeks out. I actually started this story last September, so I’ve now worked on it for a year. A whole year.

So here’s my plan for the rest of this year:

1. “Finish” Steam Palace. At least get it into a state I can send to agents/editors.
2. Send out queries for Steam Palace. Sell it. Become rich and famous.
3. Plot out my NaNoWriMo novel.
4. Write a new novel for NaNoWriMo.
5. Use December to Plot out/finish The Immortals.

I do intend to start blogging/blogfesting/etc much more once Steam Palace is completed in a few weeks. I may even host a blogfest (but don’t hold me to it).

Now what is my plan for NaNoWriMo? What will I write? Well, I’m not 100% committed to what I’m about to tell you, but there are reasons I think I should write it. Here it is (draws breath): I am going to write a sequel to Steam Palace. I think this is my best plan. Having a completed first-draft on the shelf of a sequel may make Steam Palace I more sellable (notice that I’m going to refer to it as SP1 from now on). But the reason that I’m going to move on to a new project right after NaNo is that A) I will need a break after 15 months of almost nothing but Steam Palace, and B) The Immortals is a huge concept and needs attention badly.

This year’s NaNoWriMo is going to be challenging like no other. Here is the list of things that I also have scheduled during November:

1. Nov. 6 – My wife’s 40th Birthday
2. Nov. 19 – 21 – SteamCon!
3. Nov. 25 – Thanksgiving. I always take the day off from NaNo.
4. Nov. 28 – Seattle Marathon (as a course worker).

So basically throw away ~6 days of writing time leaving me with ~24 days to write this. (Note that last year I used 25 days). This is why I really need to plan this well. Also there are only 8 weekend days this year compared to 9 last year and 10 the year before.

So starting TODAY, I am beginning to gather notes and thoughts for Steam Palace II (SP2) while still working on SP1. Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting updates and blogging about the outlining process, story creation, NaNo tips, etc, and working on my exciting NaNoWriMo Page. Stay tuned!

Important Lessons

Important Lessons

Well, I’m finally in edit/critique phase of Steam Palace. I’m still looking for a few more dedicated beta readers to help me hammer this into a final form, so send me a note if you’re interested! I’m still looking at Labor Day to start sending out queries. Ambitious, but I can do this, but I could use your help!

So here go the important lessons.

1. Share. I think my family gets tired hearing about my book, but I think this may be because I tend to complain about setbacks and story issues and negative criticisms, but I rarely share all the positive feedback I receive. Things like “[Viola]is one of…my favorite characters in the blog circles.” That’s pretty high praise.
2. Finish. After I read this post by Natalie Whipple, I realized that I’m trying too hard to make everything perfect. I’m not trying to create a best-seller or anything, I just have listened to a lot of advice that new authors need to make a huge impact, so everything must be perfect. I’m beginning to not believe this so much. Every book is flawed. No character is perfect. People will either like my writing or they won’t. It will either sell or it won’t, and no amount of revision will change that. I write how I write, I care about the things I care about. My characters fight and love and care and hate, and if people aren’t on board with them, what can I really do? Move on, that’s really it.
3. Most Writing Advice Sucks. And I’m not talking about endless writing blogs explaining that show is absolutely better than tell even though it triples your word count. I think it’s because most people (and I’m including the professional books on writing) present writing rules as absolute-you-must-follow-or-never-see-publication rules. That’s crap. Everything has its place, even adverbs. And, like show vs tell, everything has a price. No backstory? Then no motivation. Deep POV? Then no broader look at the scene. No adverbs? Then choppy sentences without color. Sometimes, someone just runs fast. I want these fucking rules to be presented as choices, not rules, with pros and cons on each side. The more I try to follow them, the deeper hole I dig myself. Yes, I will continue to listen and read writing advice, but I will try to understand it on a deeper level, not a robotic follow-or-die mentality.
4. Just Tell The Story. I think this is one thing I’ve lost touch with. I’ve been so concerned with making everything perfect, that I’ve forgotten what this craft is all about. Telling a story. About a woman who meets this other woman who she can’t stand at first but by the end of the story they are willing to die for each other. That’s all it is. That’s all I need to tell show. Wow…I just discovered the whole theme to Steam Palace as I wrote this: You can love people who are vastly different from yourself, because deep inside, we’re really all the same. That’s all my book is. Kewl. Check out this great post on Theme by Merrilee. So all I need to do is focus on what my story is and remove all the extraneous crap. Done and done.

Thanks for listening, and don’t forget…NaNoWriMo starts in 100 days!!!!

Death Scene Blogfest – Steam Palace

Blogfest O’ Death – Steam Palace

Now I know people have been waiting for this for a long time, so welcome to The Death Scene Blogfest hosted by the wonderful Tesse Conte! Go check out all the other great entries!

So as some of you know, I’ve been engaged in cutting scenes right and left, and this one unfortunately fell on the cutting room floor, but now it will live on forever on the internets. Bad Girl Viola has fled to the Southland, and now lives in a woman’s dormitory at the Great Southland World Exposition for Peace in Richmond where she works. She shares a room with Charlotte, a college student. She’s also taken a new name, Violet. But make no mistake…she’s still Viola through and through. Let’s just say she’s taken a liking to Charlotte and feels protective of her…very protective.

Charlotte shook Violet awake. “Violet! Violet!”

Violet jumped up. “What? Am I late?” The dawn was still dim.

“No, look at this!” She handed Violet a news-graph. “Two women, murdered in their beds last night. It’s Frenchie and Barbara!” Violet glanced at the crude drawings of their unfortunate friends. Charlotte tore the graph away, her eyes wide. “You did it. You murdered them!”

“I was here all night!”

Charlotte sniffled, huffing her breath.

Violet stood and wrapped her arms around Charlotte’s waist. “Listen. I’m sorry what I said last night, about killing you. That was stupid. I was hurt. I could never do such a thing, even in anger. I’m not like that. Come, let’s dress, find breakfast, and talk about it. We mustn’t let such things interfere with our day.”

She reached up and kissed the girl on the cheek but Charlotte turned from her.

“Violet,” said Charlotte, her dark eyes wide and accusing, “please swear to me you had no involvement in this.”

Violet’s mouth dropped. “I swear! And I can’t believe you would think such a thing. I am as shocked as you. How could something like that happen to people I just met?”

Charlotte attempted a weak smile. “Okay. Sorry.” Did Charlotte believe her? What did it matter? The poor girl could never understand these sorts of things.

Violet gathered her green Expo uniform. Of course, she had no involvement at all, except for creeping in their window and stabbing them in the hearts as they slept, holding their mouths shut as the life left their bodies. Barbara, for hating Americans and Africans, and Frenchie, for touching her friend. Violet protected hers. She tousled Charlotte’s head and smiled.

 

Revision Revision

Revision Revision

Well, for those of you following along at home, two weeks ago I posted Revision Indecision, where I spoke of how my story ran off the rails. Well last night I wrote the two most special words in all of literature, “The End.” I have somewhat officially finished the second draft of Steam Palace, and it wasn’t easy. It was like a wrestling-style Battle Royale with my characters, trying to force them into some semblance of a conclusion to their adventures while they fight each other tooth and nail.

Here’s the thing. I’ve given myself a deadline (hence the guillotine). September 1. I want Steam Palace completed by 9/1/2010. Done. Out the door. That’s 60 days to go from draft to finished product. I have other projects to work on. This revision has taken forever, and right now I don’t feel much closer than I did on Dec 1, 2009 when I finished the first draft.

So what have I been doing the last seven months? Beats me. Endless analysis followed by endless planning followed by endless rewrite. My characters are way better, the story is better, and the ending, while not quite as dramatic, probably is better as well. More meaningful.

Here’s the situation. I finished with ~115K words, up from 80K in the first draft. That’s 35K additional words. I need to cut it down to at least 95K. I know I’m still a little sparse on description, setting scenes and transitions, so I need to cut first before I flesh out those problem areas. Then cut some more. This is clearly the most painful part of the process, but it’s a key skill I will need. I must be ruthless. Heartless. WWVD?*

My plan is to run through every single scene, writing down all problem areas, and scoring the scenes. Check out this example of what I do. Then anything with a bad score—cut. Any characters not pulling their weight—cut. Any subplots not supporting the main plot—cut. Then patch up all the holes, rework all the scenes into a tight POV and clear prose, and send it out. Simple, right?

And, to incent myself and keep myself focused, I’ve decided to host another blogfest, tentatively on August 31 ( but I might push it to Sept  3). I must be finished by this date or no blogfest! Stay tuned for more details. It will be the bestest blogfest eva!

On September 7, I will be sending out queries. Look out world, here comes Steam Palace!

*What Would Viola Do? Okay, I know the answer to that…cut all the scenes with Sophia.

Bickering Blogfest – Steam Palace

Bickering Blogfest – Steam Palace

Thanks to Kristen Yard for hosting The Bickering Blogfest! (My characters? Bicker???) Check out the other entries!

So this isn’t an actual scene from my novel, but I realized it would be a perfect time for some bickering between Sophia (the milkmaid-turned-burleque-pianist-turned-undercover-agent-turned-cavalier-turned-fugitive) and Viola (the Bad Girl who is Sophia’s long-lost twin sister, although technically Sophia is Viola’s long-lost twin sister, but I digress).

There’s a body, and I’m not saying whose. But it’s kind of a problem.

Sophia shoved the heavy body but it clung to her frame. “A little assistance please.”

Viola hovered, her dark features dripping with the dead man’s blood. She placed her hands on the man’s torso, and together, they rolled him off the bed. He thumped the floor with a sick thud.

Sophia looked at her waist. “His blood is everywhere! I’m soaked!”

Viola smirked. “Would you rather I waited for a more convenient  moment?”

Sophia leaned over and looked at the dripping corpse. “We can’t leave him there. What if someone calls on him?”

Viola crossed her arms. “We must return him to bed. Then if someone calls, we will act as if he were in the throes of passion.”

“He’s dead! You want us to lay with him? I do not wish to even touch him.” Sophia shivered.

Viola wiped her hands on her corset. “Maybe we can shove him under the bed.”

Sophia swallowed the rising bile. “Look at that puddle. How much blood can one man have? It’s crawling along the cracks in the floor board. We cannot leave him here. And this bedding is ruined. Not to mention that we both appear slightly guilty in the matter.”

Viola turned and walked away. “Good point. I shall escape by the window.”

Sophia reached out. “No! We can’t leave, it will bring suspicion.”

“I think the body will bring suspicion.”

Sophia glanced down at the man, still pouring his lifeblood onto the floor. “What about the tub? We’ll just say he slipped and fell.”

Viola laughed, blood shimmering in the light. “Dear sister. How does one slip and fall into a dozen stab wounds?”

“I don’t know!” Tears formed in her eyes. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Viola’s eyes narrowed. “And I’ve never had to sit and watch the body stiffen. Do you think I enjoy this? We should be miles away by now.”

Sophia breathed, forcing her trembling limbs to quiet. “Okay, to the bathroom then. We shall lock him in, explain that he consumed some rotten whalemeat. You know what that does to one’s digestion.”

Sophia slid out of bed and waved Viola over. They each grabbed a leg. “Okay, ready?” She yanked on the foot, but her feet slipped on the oozing blood and the floor smacked her butt. Viola hovered over her, shaking her head.

Sophia placed her fists on her temples. “This is impossible! What can we do?”

“Back on the bed then.”

The two maneuvered around and grabbed the slick body, but its dead weight would not budge.

Sophia stood and stomped her foot. “This is all your fault. We were well hidden in that cave, but you insisted on revealing yourself.”

Viola frowned. “And you could have had everything with him. You made your choice, I made mine.”

Sophia sighed and looked at the corpse, then at the bed. “Okay, here’s what we do. Tie a bed sheet around him, then drape the sheet over our shoulders and pull him like a donkey would.”

“I am not a donkey!”

“Viola, please. Mechohorse then. How is that?”

Viola sniffed. “I am no beast of burden. I had to do the killing, and now you want me to perform heavy labor? Did you ever consider that I might be a bit distraught at this moment? Do you think killing is an easy thing?”

Sophia slapped her thighs. “And I had to endure his assault. Viola, this bickering is getting us nowhere. Now unless you have a better suggestion, I would like to remove his body as soon as possible.”

“Throw him out the window? Ooh...the fireplace. Burn him.” Her eyes glowed.

“You want to either toss him out the window in plain view of a thousand infantrymen or burn him in the fireplace so a thousand men can smell our crime?”

Viola threw up her hands. “I usually want people to find the body, to send a message. Hmm. Throw a rug over him?”

Sophia had an impulse to strangle her sister. “No.”

The corpse groaned. Sophia squealed. “He’s still alive! Viola, he’s still alive!” She jumped across the bed and huddled on the other side.

Viola looked at her and laughed. “You really are new to this. Corpses make all sorts of noises. See?” She stood on the body and jumped up and down. Each jump resulted in a small groan.

“Viola, stop! Please! You are making me gag!”

A knock rapped on the door. The women looked at each other. “Just a minute,” called Viola. “Come, help me push him.” 

Sophia sprang over, slipping and sliding, and together, they shoved the body under the bed. Viola dragged a carpet over the blood while Sophia made the bed and blew out some candles.

Viola pointed down. “Okay Sophia, hide with him.”

“What? Under the bed?”

“It’s the only way. Hurry.”

Sophia crawled next to the corpse.

“Come in,” called Viola from under the sheets.

A young man entered. “I have a message for ______”  He waved an envelope.

“He’s taken quite ill, I’m afraid,” said Viola. “He’ll be unavailable for a while.”

Just at that moment, the corpse groaned again. Sophia almost screamed but bit her finger.

“Yes, I can hear,” said the man. “Sounds like he’s on death’s door. Okay, make sure he receives it. We need his response right away.”

“Will do, as soon as he’s able. Just leave it over there,” said Viola from under the covers.

Sophia crawled back out after the man left. Viola smiled, reached out her arms, and wiped the blood off her shoulders and back. “You see? We’ll get through this.”

Sophia shuddered. “As long as the blood doesn’t start dripping through the floor.”

Viola picked her feet up as if that made a difference. “Shoot. I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Yes, you did not think about any of this, did you?”

And the bickering continues….

Secret Blogfest – Steam Palace

“Secret” Blogfest – Steam Palace

Thanks to Tara Fouts for hosting the “Secret” Blogfest. Go check out the other entries!

Okay, I was going to use this for the Cognitive Dissonance Blogfest that was cancelled, but it works here too. Sophia has just read a hand-written note from Viola who has fled the country. I hope this doesn’t reveal too much. It’s a little over a third of the way into the novel. Sophia has been wrestling with the fact that she and Viola look almost identical although they grew up on opposite sides of society.

Sophia sat at the kitchen table chewing a slice of rich, dark bread, studying the last line over and over again. “Your true sister.” Double underlined? A hand clenched her heart and the bread fell from her mouth. For a week she had lain in bed in Beatrice’s residence, hiding ugly bruises from the world, sulking in misery at the injustices of life. This morning, a courier delivered the note.

“Beatrice,” she said. No response. “Beatrice!” Her constricting throat cracked her voice.

The woman rumbled down the stairs. “Yes, yes, Sophia, what is it?”

Sophia passed the note to Beatrice.

Beatrice’s eyes went wide; her hand found her mouth. “Viola has fled the country. I feared it would come to this someday.”

“That’s not what I find most upsetting. Read the last line.”

Beatrice swallowed. “Well, she thinks of you as her sister.”

Beatrice would not meet Sophia’s gaze. Why? ”What are you hiding from me? What does she underline ‘true’ twice? What is she trying to tell me?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Her downcast eyes and shaking head betrayed her.

“Beatrice Harwinton. Is Viola Willamante my actual sister? Answer me!” Sophia stood up and faced the shivering woman.

Beatrice turned, ran upstairs, and slammed her bedroom door shut.

Sophia pursued and pounded on the oak door. “Open this door at once! I demand to know the truth!”

“You don’t want the truth,” she cried, “you don’t want it!”

“I do! Please, Beatrice. By your actions I can only assume that Viola is my actual sister.” And if Viola is my sister—how could such a thing be possible? Scenarios churned her mind. Had Viola been stolen as a child? Then why hadn’t Shelby or Mother ever told her? Sophia pounded on the door again.

“WHO IS VIOLA WILLAMANTE!” Sophia’s throat convulsed into choking coughs, and she fell to her knees, gagging.

The door unlatched. Tears flooded Beatrice’s eyes.

“Please,” rasped Sophia. “How did Mother or Shelby not know I had a sister? Or my father? But you knew, didn’t you? That’s why you took her in. She must have been stolen from us. Tell me, please.”

Beatrice slumped to the floor next to Sophia, her hands pressed to eyes. A sob escaped her throat. “They never knew. I am so ashamed. You never needed to know. But the truth is…” The woman paused, her chest shaking. “…the truth is that Viola is not the stolen child…you are.”

The “cognitive dissonance” part comes right after this as Sophia needs to deal with the fact that she’s been “adopted”…illegally.

Revision Indecision

Revision Indecision

Well, I powered my way through to the end of Act II of Steam Palace. Here’s the thing. I can plot ‘til the cows come home but as soon as I touch pen to paper (type the first letter) it all goes runs off the road like the car above because my characters are unpredictable. They will do something unexpected, and I’ll go, “well that’s much kewler than what I had plotted…let’s run with it.” Sigh.

In Draft One, I knew what my main character Sophia (called Prudencia back then) wanted. Her family was in chaos, and she figured if she married into a good house, then—like magic—all that would be fixed, so the story was about her drive to become Duchess despite all the crap that she had to endure to achieve this goal. Nice, clean, focused.

Now onto Draft Two. Same beginning, same idea, same goals. Except this new character Viola pops up. And like the proverbial monkey wrench into the gears, Sophia’s lofty goals have been destroyed. Viola’s mean. She’s slutty. She’s psychotically dangerous. And she’s Sophia’s twin sister. What? Suddenly the whole novel has shifted from the story of Sophia restoring her family status to her bond with this woman who represents everything Sophia does not. Yes, I’ll say it and fuck me for writing it: Viola is Sophia’s Evil Twin.

The thing is, Sophia hasn’t changed between drafts. Her real true goal, the restoration of her family, remains intact. The world of my story has changed. Her family is not just her older sister and her mom. It’s now this other person. And then when Sophia finds out she’s adopted (well…stolen), her whole family concept is thrown into chaos. What the hell is her family? Who is she? She cannot become Duchess now. It’s like Draft One was a perfect dream of hers which now lays in ruins.

So what happened? How did I completely ruin a perfectly good plot and now sit here wondering how the fuck am I going to finish this story? Sophia’s association with Viola has completely corrupted her to the point where at the beginning of Act III, they are both on the lam ala Thelma & Louise, running for their lives. Miss Prim and Proper Sophia Stratton…a fugitive. My plot has completely run off the rails. I’ve been sorely tempted to put my foot down and stop writing until my characters behave. I’ve even threatened to end the book right here. But it’s my own fault. I listened to some writing advice about adding “conflict” and “tension” and “fix the sagging middle” to the story, and now it’s an irresolvable mess.

I guess the thing I need to do is figure out what the hell Sophia wants at this point.  She wants some semblance of normality to her life. She has to find a way to make this all right. Her country is about to be invaded by two neighbors fighting for control. Her sister Viola is being hunted for murder (which she did commit), her friend Thomas is suffering the aftereffects of a leg amputation, the Duke wants them dead for messing his plans up, and she herself is wanted for committing terrorist acts (which she did do as well…no “innocent parties” here.). She has to fix all this. Everything she’s grown to care about is being threatened. And it’s kinda her own fault.

And what the hell happened to my Original Idea? That this would be some kind of love triangle story between Sophia, the Duke, and Thomas? She’s thrown all that out because of Viola, and now it’s a buddy story. Poor Thomas, he’s really getting the short end of the stick here. There is a cute scene where he spends a day with Viola convinced she’s Sophia suffering some kind of brain ailment. She tries to tell him she’s not Sophia but he won’t listen. But I digress. Thomas is now relegated to the side, poor guy.

What is this book about? Where is it going? What is the resolution? I have no idea how Sophia’s going to navigate through all this. But the thing is, I will figure all this out, and the result is going to be incredible. At last count I had 25 threads (or story promises) left dangling. I probably can’t close all of them, but I am going to try. And I realize I am going to have to do this before I start edits because I don’t know what’s going to have to change to make the ending work.

Wish me (and Sophia) luck. We’re going to need it. Otherwise I think me and her will be sharing that car up above.

Character Interview Blogfest – Sophia Responds

Character Interview Blogfest – Sophia Responds

So after yesterday’s post, Sophia has been relentlessly hounding me for a response, so I conducted another interview. Sophia is the main character of Steam Palace.

ANDREW: Hello, Sophia. What’s so urgent that I must make another post?

SOPHIA: Thank you very much for your indulgence in my petition, Mr. Rosenberg. I shall drive straight to the point. I am quite upset at your portrayal of Miss Viola as an Evil Villain. Nothing could be further from the truth.

ANDREW: Okay…

SOPHIA: It is true that she is quite challenged, but I believe her to be good. She performs many heroic acts.

ANDREW: I know she’s your lost twin sister, and you feel you must defend her, but at some point you must open your eyes.

SOPHIA: No, it is you with eyes shut. You are always seeing the worst in people.

ANDREW: Sophia, in the last scene I wrote yesterday, Viola is holding a knife to your throat as you sleep. You are in denial about her true nature. You are an inherently good, loving person, and you refuse to see what is right in front of your face. Evil.

SOPHIA. Nonsense. Did she kill me? No. You want me to believe she is beyond repair, broken, a fractured soul. I do not—I cannot believe that. She can change. She can be redeemed.

ANDREW: Do you understand that this is what makes you the Hero? You would lay your life down for Viola, wouldn’t you.

SOPHIA: Not only would I, I nearly did if you recall.

ANDREW: Would she do the same for you?

SOPHIA: …

ANDREW: Well?

SOPHIA: Of course she would. We have had our differences, yes, but there is love and compassion in her heart. And I know deep inside she wants to change, to better herself. You could do this. You have the power to fix her, to set things right. Please, good sir, please have compassion for one of your characters and help set her on a better road.

ANDREW: You know I can’t do that. Viola is who she is. You need to accept that.

SOPHIA: And you need to accept that I will never stop fighting for her. No matter how evil you write her, how vicious and mean she becomes, I will always be there for her.

ANDREW: Even if she kills your aunt, your sister, or your mother?

SOPHIA: You would not write such things. Tell me you would not do that. Please, please, kind sir, do not do this to Viola. Even you are not so cruel. If you set her to such tasks, I will refuse to participate in this novel. I will simply sit and do nothing—I shall go on strike.

ANDREW: Are you beginning to understand what you’re up against?

SOPHIA: Yes, the most evil creature ever devised. The most hideous, despicable, and utterly gutless character in the entire Universe. The Author. I will fight you with every means at my disposal. In the words, on the pages, across the hard disk. You will not win this fight, Mr. Rosenberg. Viola will have her redemption, I promise you. And now that I see your thoughts, I will act to prevent such occurrences. Now I must be off. Good day.

ANDREW: Okay, Sophia, take care. And watch your back.

Character Interview Blogfest – Viola

Character Interview Blogfest – Viola

Thanks to Sangu Mandanna for hosting the Character Interview Blogfest. Follow the link to read all the other entries!

You might remember Miss Viola Willimante from other blogfests such as the Let’s Talk and Bad Girl Blogfests. So I decided to sit down with her and here’s the edited transcript of that conversation (I removed some of her more saucier language).

ANDREW: Hello, readers. Today we’re going to interview Miss Viola Willamante, a character from my latest WIP Steam Palace. Viola, could you tell my readers a little about yourself?

VIOLA: No.

ANDREW: Uh, hold on, readers. Viola, what’s up?

VIOLA: I’m a tad perturbed at how you are conducted the writing of your novel, so I respectfully decline.

ANDREW: Viola, you’re an important part of the story, and our gentle readers want to learn more about you.

VIOLA: So you can continue to portray me as some low-born gutter prowler? I think not.

ANDREW: You’re a huge part of the story. You make Steam Palace what it is.

VIOLA: Why not interview precious Sophia?

ANDREW: Oh, boy. Let me explain to the readers. Sophia is the main character, Viola’s twin sister in fact. Steam Palace is a chronicle of Sophia's adventures as she navigates the strange alternate history of North America.

VIOLA: You failed to answer my question. Because deep inside, you consider me to be the main character, not Sophia.

ANDREW: No, I just think the readers—

VIOLA: You invest vast amounts of energy on my character,  providing me with grand flaws and ribald passion. I bring the book alive. I suffer the most. I sacrifice the most. By all rights, I should be the Hero.

ANDREW: Yes, you are very flawed, but I—

VIOLA: You have challenged me with steep mountains and great challenges. What has Sophia ever achieved? Ever lost? Why does she even appear in the book?

ANDREW: Viola, I don't know how else to say this, but you're not the Hero. In fact—

VIOLA: Well, I should be. What does Sophia have that I do not? You said yourself that we are identical.

ANDREW Viola! You need to face facts. You are not the Hero. You’re—well—you’re the Villain. You are Sophia’s greatest challenge.

VIOLA: Ha ha ha ha. Snarf. Oh, I understand. It is that “Evil Twin” meme, is it not? How many posts have you crafted railing against it, how you despise and loathe Evil Twin as a cheap gimmick? So, I am Sophia’s Evil Twin. Excellent. She is good where I am bad. She is sweet where I am cross. She loves where I hate. Predictable. Well, it reeks of foul putrefaction. I am not the Villain. The true Villains are the Duke and the Fuhrer. I save the day. I am the Hero. I would wager more readers care about my story than hers.

ANDREW: Okay, name one way you’ve changed during the course of the book.

VIOLA: Change? For heaven's sake, why would I do that?

ANDREW: Because that's what Heroes do. Yes, you are the most interesting character by far. You outplay Sophia from time to time. But she has the capacity to transcend things, to forgive, to change her way of thinking, to rise above the muck.

VIOLA: Sophia is a one-dimensional caricature. “Ooh, poor me, I am but a lowly milkmaid seeking more. I shall ‘Mary-Sue’ my way to becoming Queen.” It shares the redeeming qualities of rat urine. You know why I do not alter my outlook? Because I know who I am—a top-tier temptress and a vengeful adversary. I take what is mine and I care not whom I hurt. I do not care who dies.

ANDREW: Does that include Charlotte?

VIOLA: …

ANDREW: Well?

VIOLA: That was a cruel blow. She did not have to die. And now I must carry on as if it never occurred? I intend to make the rest of your manuscript writing a living hell. Everything that Sophia does, everywhere she goes, I will be there to ruin it. Do you comprehend my position? You gave me hope, and then yanked it away. I hate you, you [redacted]. This interview is over. Good fortune finishing the revision, [redacted].

ANDREW: Viola, wait! Damn. Well, readers, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed our little chat. Now I need to run off and calm Viola down before she does some serious damage…like deleting every chapter Sophia appears in or changing Sophia’s name back to Prudencia or over to Hortense. Thank you for listening.

NEW! Sophia responds to this interview!

Title Blogfest – Steam Dawn’s Singularity Palace Rise Matrix

The Next Top Title Blogfest

Thanks to Slushpile Slut (love that name) for hosting The Next Top Title Blogfest! Follow the link to view all the other entries.

The rules are: No background, no log lines, no information. Just 3-5 titles. Okay, maybe I’ll explain in the comments. Well, here we go.

Steam Palace

Steamerica

Pride, Prejudice, and Goggles

Sophia Stratton and the Fury Lords

The Stratton Chronicles. Book One: The Fury Lords

Okay, after I posted this, I thought the last couple sounded too YA so I had to add a really raunchy one:

The History of Steam Sluts of the Early 20th Century

Well? Well?

Suggested by Valerie:
Sense, Sensibility, and Steam Sluts

More Ideas:

Corsetocracy

Sophia Stratton and the Search for the Sea Key

Tea, Corsets, and Brass Goggles

Steam Twins

 

Logline/Hook Line Blogfest – Steam Palace

Logline/Hook Line Blogfest – Steam Palace

Thanks to Bryan for hosting the Logline/Hook line Blogfest! Follow the link to read all the other entries!

Since I’m out of town this weekend, I’m posting this up today. I won’t be able to look at the other entries or reply to comments until Monday.

Here are my five (well, six, but 2 aren’t serious) hooks from my WIP Steam Palace:

1. Simple one:
   A milkmaid can save her country by marrying the man responsible for inviting evil invaders, but her heart belongs to another.
   
2. Now for a wordy one:
   In a backwards world where New England never joined the Revolution, a former noblewoman seeks to restore her family name by journeying to the Steam Palace, a den of lawlessness and sin, and attracting the one man who can fulfill her wishes—but only by destroying her country—and her heart—in the process.
   
3. Another:
   Torn between her country and her heart, an ambitious milkmaid seeks to restore her family’s name but is caught in a web of intrigue when her fiancé plots her nation’s destruction—and she discovers she is in love with another.
   
4. I’m not sure how accurate this one is, but it’s different.
   When an ambitious milkmaid discovers her hitherto unknown identical twin trapped in a morass of sin and degradation, she risks her country’s future and her own heart to rescue her sister from the depths of ignominy and start a new life.
   
5. Now for the lamest possible hook:
   Steam Palace is a really kewl book about this girl Sophia who like goes to the Steam Palace thing which is this big boat that’s like a Western lawless town and she meets this chick Viola who tries to turn her into a prostitute but Sophia is too smart and so she forms a band and they play for the Duke who’s like tots into Sophia but he’s doing Viola and they’re identical twins so it’s really messed up and the Nazi-esque Reichlanders want to take over New Britannia but Sophia has to stop them because she really digs the Queen and so the book is about Sophia trying to attract the Duke, not piss off Viola, save the country, and hook up with Thomas who’s this awesome ex-Sky Captain but he’s like a dope fiend so he’s gotta work on himself first so it’s all really complicated and stuff but you’ll love it.
   
   Now to Steampunkify the lame hook:
   “Steam Palace” is a most excellent novel pertaining to a young maiden named Miss Sophia Stratton who travels to a most quaint and extraordinary vessel known as the aforementioned “Steam Palace” which resembles nothing less than a fearsome Western outpost drowning in lawlessness whereupon she encounters another fair maiden known as a Miss Viola Willamante who endeavors to matriculate young Miss Sophia into a most unfortunate profession—indeed the world’s oldest—however, Miss Sophia cognates on Miss Viola’s prevarications and instead assembles a wondrous set of musicians who capture His Grace the Duke’s attentions so he requires their ministrations at his gala Ball during which he becomes infatuated with the beauty and talent of Miss Sophia—whilst still secretly courting Miss Viola (who bears a striking—no, an identical resemblance to Miss Sophia)—where was I—oh yes, during this gala Ball the horrid and altogether reprehensible Reichlanders reveal their plot to steal New Britannia from her people but Miss Sophia cannot let such terrible threats stand, for she loves her Queen dearly, so my fine readers, if you are still digesting my litany, let me summarize: to save her dear country, Miss Sophia must win the hand of the reclusive Duke, keep doppelgängerous Miss Viola at arm’s length, and oh did I mention that her heart has become irretrievable entangled with ex-Sky Captain Thomas Putnam of the Third Aeronautium who himself is entangled in the dreaded thicket of opium addiction, so poor Miss Sophia is most torn between all these competing and conflicting notions? Now I must breathe.

Well? Any jump out at you? Any suggestions or ideas on how to make these better? Thanks for any feedback.

Revision Forever!

Revision Forever!

Okay, that’s just short for saying, “this revision is taking forever!”

I started revising Steam Palace in December. Six months later, I have Part One revised. Umm…this is not acceptable. Yes, I spent a lot of time working on an online revision course, deciding what to keep and what to throw out and designing a new plot and new characters. Then I decided the course was taking too long and I started revising the story a couple months back. I was really hoping by now that I’d have something to take to publishers.

Here’s the thing. I really think Steam Palace is good. Publishable, even.  Yes, I know I’m still weak in areas. I’ve successfully navigated all the common writing pitfalls, made my writing strong, improved my story structure and characterization, but how close am I? I have no idea. Even if I’ve improved my writing 200% in a year, how much more do I have left to improve? (to be publishable)

For me, drafting is the easiest thing in the world. I can whip up 4-6K words a day on a draft. But editing—that’s super slow. I’ve literally spent this entire week working on a single chapter (granted it’s the most important chapter of the book so far—basically the climax of Part One that sets the entire rest of the book in motion—and it’s grown to over 6K words in four mini-scenes). At this rate I won’t finish by the end of the year---and there’s still NaNoWriMo! No matter what, I have to be finished on Steam Palace by September 1. Mostly because as great as Steam Palace is, The Immortals is ridiculously better. We’re talking Terry Goodkind good.

So the question is how to get this thing done in three months. Obviously I can work better, stronger, faster. I have the technology. I have nine chapters(40+scenes) to write in fifteen weeks. Gulp. So basically it’s go-time, heads down, full-throttle, and pedal to the metal. But without clichés of course. Which means I’m going to have to start cutting back on blogging, blogfesting, blog reading (notice a trend here?), until this thing is ready to go out the door. Is one fully edited chapter a week doable? If I could finish by Aug. 1 I would be ecstatic, then I could start sending out queries while I do final full-ms edits.

Sigh. Well enough talk and now time to do it. Wish me luck!

The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest – Steam Palace

The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest – Steam Palace

Thanks to Roni Griffin for hosting The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest. Click to check out all the other entries. The idea is to post your most “sparkly” dialog. Well, I think I used my most sparkly dialog for the Baking Scene Blogfest, but I’ll try to find something worthy.

For those who have read bits of Steam Palace, in this scene, “Bad Girl” Viola is helping fit Sophia into a dress. Beatrice, Sophia’s aunt, has left them to their own devices. I’ve edited down the original for length.

The humor left Viola’s face. “Give me that.” She yanked away the corset without as much as a please and tossed it away. “Turn around.” Her eyes burned black, daring Sophia to disobey.

Sophia pirouetted and returned to face the woman, arms covering her chest.

Viola placed her long-nailed hand on her chin, a vulture savoring her prey. “Inconceivable. A perfect figure. Unlike me. I’m a little too—saucy. The downside of ale, as they say.”

Viola manipulated delicate fingers that worked through the lacing of a red and black sateen corset she retrieved from a pile.

She wrapped Sophia into the corset and then used her foot as leverage against Sophia’s back and hind quarters to tie the laces. She stuffed Sophia into the blue Cobbs dress, stood back, and nodded. “You’re almost a lady now.”

Sophia stared down at her protruding bosom and bustle. “I feel like a peacock on display. I dread to consult the looking-glass. Shouldn’t my chest be covered?” She placed her hand on her bare sternum.

“You are so precious! You look most ravishing, darling.” Viola led Sophia to the glass.

Sophia sucked in a breath upon seeing her reflection. Her hand flew to her mouth. Indeed, a lady stared back. “Oh my. Yes, I do.” A smile flicked her lips. A smile which descended into sadness. “But I have no means to finance such finery. I lost the full sum of my savings upon my journey.”

Voila laid an arm on her shoulder and her face appeared next to hers, a leering grin slashing her visage. “You don’t say, you poor thing. You know, I might have just the opportunity for you. If you allow me, I shall pay for everything. The dress, the corset, and while we’re at it, how about some boots, a hat or two, gloves, undergarments, and a coat? And I know of a fine jeweler nearby.”

Sophia shook her head. Accept money from this woman? Never.

Viola examined a slick pair of black boots. “I suspect we wear the same size, too. We could be such good friends, me and you. And with my help, you could earn the money back in no time.”

“Doing what?”

A hand crept along Sophia’s face and turned her head so they stood eye-to-eye. “Well, you enjoy the company of refined gentlemen, correct? And Beatrice mentioned the other day that you were seeking a husband. Well, I know the perfect form of employment for you. I manage an exclusive gentlemen’s club, and it just so happens we have a new opening for someone with special qualities. If you possess a strong intellect and excellent conversation skills, you’d fit right in. You already exude the beauty we desire. These men pay handsomely for attentive escorts.”

Sophia couldn’t imagine a more charming snake. But…men of refinement? Conversation? All things she longed for.

“You look so beautiful—and desirable, my sweet Sophia,” she continued, turning back to the glass. “You want to be sought by men, fought over, even. You didn’t come to Hartford to be ordinary, did you?”

Sophia bristled. “Of course not. If I wished for ordinary I would have married some pig trapper in Podunk.”

Viola grinned wide, her canines flashing. “Well then. I believe we are in agreement, yes? I can provide you with a life that is far from ordinary, full of wealth and beauty and everything a beautiful woman could desire. And if in the process you secure a match—so much the better. Let’s choose a few more items, if we can find any worthy of your beauty. Leave the bargaining with the store wench to me. You are going to love the Steam Palace.”

Sophia froze. “What!? The Steam Palace? My friend elucidated me upon what transpires on that wretched floating city—gambling and harlotry.”

“Filthy lies! Listen, Miss Podunk. Tell you what.” Viola leaned close. “I like you. I really do. You’re a strong, independent woman. You’re no simple country girl. Someone has taught you culture, a love of the finer things. All I ask is one night. If you don’t love it, then walk away, and keep everything I buy you. One night. One night can’t corrupt you, can it? Look at how pretty you are. With my makeup artistry, you will become irresistible. Think of all the fine things you could afford. Dresses. Shoes. Fine dining. Servants. Your own residence. Just by engaging in pleasant conversation with the cream of New Britannian society. Don’t you deserve the better things in life?”

Yes. She did deserve fine things after seven years of hard labor with nothing to show for it. She had sacrificed everything to get here, her job, her mechohorse, perhaps even her final moments with her mother. This strange woman with her silver tongue spoke true—what harm could one night do to her soul? Viola was right—Sophia was strong, she was independent, and she was not one to turn down such an opportunity.

“I shall require a matching parasol or two, a fine riding cloak, a wristwatch, new brass goggles, and I want Lady Beatrice’s larder fully stocked. Is that acceptable?”

Viola snickered. “Whatever you want, my dear, whatever you want. Shall we?”

For more Steam Palace, check out the first few chapters now up Authonomy.