Well about the only good thing about this weekend is that the Niners actually won a game. It was pretty exciting actually. The season's still a goner but it's nice to win occasionally. Hey, given all the crap I've been through, and kind of good news is welcome.
Brad is feeling better. He's able to limp around a little bit. Marcia's been bugging me about Ellie's whereabouts, but I told her honestly that I don't know. I didn't mention that she had taken some prisoners to an undisclosed location for some undisclosed types of interrogation. I've basically told her that Ellie is leaving the country in a matter of days. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I don't know if I want to see her again. I'm so pissed at her jerking me around that I don't think we can seriously be together again.
Tomorrow I start looking for a new position, hopefully in a city far away from here. I love this place, but I feel like I need a change. For the first time in my life I had actually considered "settling down" until Ellie started acting wacky. Now all I feel is betrayal and disappointment. I don't know if I'll ever find someone I like as much as her again, but I can't be involved with the local head of Chinese Intelligence. I want to go someplace with decent skiing. Maybe I should go up to Vancouver.
I've been thinking a lot about the plot Carrie's been tracking. I've taken the time to read through some of the stuff she's printed out, and I've tried to find the relevant research but I've found nothing. Even the fingerprinting technology seems to be without any scientific basis. This confuses me a lot, since I actually used it. Or did I? The only thing it ever led to was that data center we found. Everything else we found through conventional means. Now a lot of research, especially for the government, is kept secret, but there's always some basis for it.
Which all makes me want to get a peek at Building Four. I have no way of getting in there. But if I could get in, I could prove once and for all whether the plot existed or not. I want to know who's been jerking Carrie and I around on some wild goose chase. She's completely lost it, and I'm barely holding on. I want to move on and leave all this all behind me. It's just that I feel really screwed by everything that's happened. I've lost my girlfriend, my job, and my mind. I want to know what the hell is going on. I want some answers. I can't really move on until I get explanation for everything that's happened. And I intend to find out.