Triathlon Mania!
Sorry, writerly folks, this blog post is all about Triathlons.
I’m officially signed up for the Issaquah Triathlon on May 30th. It’s a 1/4 mile swim in cool water (compared to the 80 degree pool I train in), a 15 mile flat bike ride (shit, I’ve been training for 10…need to up the bike miles), and a 5K flat XC run. Hmm…looking at that picture, did the dude on the left already take his wetsuit off or is he some kind of super-stud?? I’ll be the one rolling out of the water like a beached whale.So this week I visited a Tri shop in Seattle and became acutely aware that being a Triathlete is not cheap, especially in this area because of the cold water. I had no idea how much gear I needed…it’s almost like skiing FCOL. I picked up a wet suit, a Tri singlet (a thing looks like a wrestling costume), a cap for my head, and a new pair of goggles. I’m planning on using my old POS bike. I’ve fixed it up a bit with new hand grips, a new seat, some lights, and road tires. It’s still nothing like a competitive Tri bike, which start at around $1700 and go up from there.
This morning, I ran a virtual triathlon. 40 mins in the pool, with a 20 min non-stop period which should be enough to cover 1/4 mile. Then I changed and showered (I’m worried that the chlorine will mess up my bike/run clothes) and went on a 10 mile bike ride. I changed again, then went on a 4 mile run. The whole process took three hours…however I think one of the keys to a Triathlon will be the transitions. I figure that if I keep the transitions down to 2 minutes each (instead the 20 mins they took today), I’m estimating a finish time of 1:52 or so. The transition from biking to running was brutal. The first mile felt like I was back in the pool, trying to run underwater. After that I loosened up, but everything’s going to be magnified when I run at race pace.
So here’s my Triathlon Event Checklist. After the race, I’ll update it with what I really needed.
- Bike Prerace
- Inflate Tires
- Check Brakes
- Check Lights
- Place in truck
- Fill Water bottle for bike
- Reconsider this foolishness
- For the swim
- Wetsuit
- Singlet
- Cap/race cap
- Goggles
- Chip
- Sandals
- Lose fear of drowning
- Avoid the buoys area: too crowded
- Transition 1
- Somehow find my bike among the 1000’s there
- Somehow get out of wet suit (assuming I actually managed to get in it)
- Towel off as much as possible
- Get on bike clothes
- Eat some shot blocks/drink water
- Put race belt on
- Get on the bike and ride!
- For Biking
- Helmet
- Gloves
- Sunglasses
- Biking pants (if cold)
- Biking jacket (if cold)
- Biking shirt
- Socks
- Shoes
- GPS set to bike mod
- Don’t follow misguided riders and ride an extra 5 miles
- Transition 2
- Find where the F I leave my bike
- Take off bike clothes
- Switch GPS to run mode and reset
- More shots/water
- Quick stretch?
- Run for it!
- For Running
- Socks
- Shoes
- Running Hat
- Running shirt (if cold)
- Sunglasses
- GPS set to run mode
- Try not to pee pants since I doubt I’ve hit a potty yet
- Post race
- Collapse
- Pee
- Collapse
- Find sandals/car keys
- Other Preparation
- Register for event
- Pick up packet
- Put numbers on appropriate items
- Roll up socks so they're easy-on
- Put on sunblock
- Apply Anti chafe
- Asthma medication
- Prerace smoothie
- Pack shot blox/gel packs
- Fill water bottles/camelbak
- Warm up
- Pack
- Learn how to swim in a friggin wetsuit and/or singlet.
- Seriously, reconsider this foolishness
Glossary:
- XC: Cross country.
- FCOL: For crying out loud.
- POS: Piece of shit.
- Tri: Anything to do with Triathlons.
- Triathlon: A unique form of torture where participants are water-boarded, ridden out of town, then run ragged until their feet bleed and they vomit.
- Wetsuit: A tight cocoon-like piece of apparel that squeezes the life out of you while you wear it and provides minimal protection against the cold.
- Singlet: A very thin piece of apparel that squeezes the life out of you while you wear it and provides minimal protection against losing your dignity.
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