Sunday, June 20, 2010

Bad Boy Blogfest – William

Bad Boy Blogfest – William

Thanks to Tina Lynn for hosting the Bad Boy Blogfest! Click to look at the other entries!

So despite having a plethora of Bad Girls, I don’t really have many Bad Boys. Then I remembered I started writing a story that is a documentary (working title is “Bio”) about a man written ten years after his death. The concept is that William starts as a street punk, grows into some kind of terrorist/bad guy, then has some kind of revelation and tries to atone for his sins and is killed for those beliefs. I have about 14K written but I don’t know if it will ever be completed. Note this is rough first-draft material, and it’s told in retrospect.

bad boy 1 William nestled himself down into the homeroom class chair, scanning the other faces in the room with hostile intent. Little did he know how much this day would affect the rest of his life. Most of the students kept their distance from him. Few dared to talk directly to him. Only the deadbeats and junkies would approach him. The aged and faded teacher brought the class to attention.

“Listen up! Today we have new student from Kansas. Her name is Kendra. I hope you all can assist Kendra in her way around school today.”

William had been staring blankly at his knuckles, calculating which terrifying phrase he should engrave. When he lifted his head to glare at the newcomer, his breath caught in his throat. Up to this moment in his life, women were simply something more to be hated. All his eyes saw up to now were wicked, greedy, selfish women. But here was a very flower, a beautiful lily in a sea of seaweed. Her hair grew short and light, her features small but clean, her eyes as bright at a bullet, her mouth a tasty treat. She shyly waved to the class before casting her eyes nervously on her neatly covered and labeled schoolbooks.

While the Principal and other school officials read off boring announcements and pronouncements, William locked his gaze on the girl’s small figure. Her apparel spoke of a wealthy upbringing, with the latest wireless gadgets and fancy computer controlled hair net garnishing her scalp. Part of William’s soul raged at what she symbolized: wealth, power, “good upbringing”, health. He imagined how “good” and proper she was. All throughout the class he glared at her profile. So clean and unmarked, in contrast to his piercings and body alterations. Her eager demeanor infuriated him. His mind filled with hateful images, of blood and strangulation, knives and nails. She represented everything he was not, she had everything he didn’t and her short flirtatious glances at the football guy did not escape his keen scrutiny. His lip involuntarily curled into a sneer. His rage consumed him and burned his heart black.

The moment the bell rang to dismiss the class, he rushed to the girl’s side, ready to find some immediate cruel way of welcoming her to his class. As he drew close to her, something stayed his hand. Something indescribable, something he had never felt before. Suddenly he stumbled for words.

“Hi,” he said to her meekly.

“Hi,” she replied, a friendly smile on her face. But that smile slowly faded as she took in the sight of the unkempt rebel. Numerous loops and studs pierced his facial features, and several tattoos littered his visage, including hate symbols. His clothes, mostly leather in various stages of disrepair and filth. An aura of cigarette and worse fumes arose from his body. One eye bore the mark of a recent struggle, pouting with black and green stains. Kendra slowly backed away from him, her friendly smile replaced with a curt, worried one.

“Need help finding a class,” he ventured.

“No, thanks,” she said. “I gotta run.” And run she did.

William’s face turned red upon hearing the mocking laughs of his class mates, but inside a terrible churning ripped through him. He clenched his fists in suppressed rage and stomped down the hall, determined to make this humiliation right.

My idea for Kendra is that she becomes his nemesis/mentor in later years and is the catalyst for his eventual reformation.


  1. Love that Kendra is from Kansas!(No partiality here!) But back to your bad boy. William is wonderfully disturbing and I love the concept of the two of them, talk about polar opposites! You had me wanting to read more!

  2. I love how his hate is checked when he approaches her-- the feeling that he hates her because he really likes her and can't understand or acknowledge it is great and twisty. Very high school, too. Interesting scene!

  3. I like the stirrings of a conscience overwhelmed by adolescent stupidity and angst.

    BTW, When I was in high school, I knew a boy who, in a bad-ass moment, had carved Def Leopard into his forearm with an eraser (he had done this in Junior High). Of course, by high school, it was more of an era of Metallica and Alice in Chains. He tried to keep it covered up. Your William made me think of him.

  4. Interesting how he sees his own appearance in stark contrast to hers and desires her anyway. Pierced, black clad people often mock upright students, but he wants her attention.

    Too bad she reacted that way...seems like a momentary fork in the road and she pushed him down the dark path for good.

    As always, I find your writing both interesting and a challenge to better my own to keep up. Great post.

  5. A good moment; rife with potential for later conflict. And interesting character; definitely a bad boy type. I like that you plan on reforming him, giving him growth and depth of character. It would be an interesting journey. I hope you continue with this story.


  6. I love the idea for Kendra to become his mentor in later years. William is definitely bad boy with bad thoughts but that he reforms is very appealing. Nicely written! ;)

  7. As soon as I saw the Emo boy on your post, I couldn't help but start laughing!!! You're too funny, Andrew! Also, I've learned something about you--you like your women bad, don't you? ;)

    Okay, here goes my thoughts: Do guys REALLY think of women as flowers??? LOL--that's something I'd read in some smut book!

    I really LOVE how his dark hatred for her goodness melts away at once when he goes up to her. I LOVE reading stuff like that.

    This part made me cringe: "An aura of cigarette and worse fumes arose from his body." Ewwww!!! When was the last time he showered?? Does he really see the other fumes as worse, too? ;)

    Thanks for your thoughts on my bad boy! You should relabel your "followers" to groupies! ;)

  8. I liked that William was instantly drawn to Kendra, seeing her as a "lily in a sea of seaweed" and then gets all shy when he gets close to her. It shows that even bad boys have feelings.

    Thanks for dusting off this manuscript and sharing it with us, Olivia
    BTW, My bad boy's name is William, too. :)

  9. Really liked the darkness of this and loved your descriptions. William reminds me of someone I knew in middle school--although I doubt he turned out to be a terrorist--well, i hope not. Hmm...maybe I should look him up on facebook and make sure, lol.

  10. Aww. He may be a bit bad but felt a little sympathy for him at the end. Sucks to have that type of reaction given when he does try to do something nice. It's interesting, and a bit refreshing, to have a "bad boy" that doesn't have the sexual prowress or interest in way too many females that most have. I enjoyed reading the entry.

  11. @Renae: Can't remember why KS but maybe to match Kendra. I think there's a little bad girl in Kendra and some good guy in William.

    @Amalia: I don't do much YA but I hope it has that vibe.

    @Erin: We had AC/DC and Lynyrd Skynyrd

    @Raquel: He sees her as an outsider, a stranger. And a bit butch/punk looking herself.

    @Donna: maybe someday. It's just a nice character study now

    @Talei: Lots of possibilities. :)

    @Elizabeth: Probably not the right blog for woman/flower metaphor exploration. ;)
    I'm not sure what's worse than tobacco smell...but he doesn't have many clothes and they don't get washed very often. :(

    @Olivia: I think people have a way of sensing a kindred spirit in a crowd.

    @Roni: That latest terrorist dude in NYC looked like the guy next door. You never know...

    @Dawn: Yeah he's not a predatory type, he's more of the rebel anti-society type.

  12. Teens sometimes forget there are consequences to the look they adopt. The aged and faded teacher.

    I was a teacher for a time. And towards the end of the school year, believe me, you can feel faded!

    Your manuscript shows great promise. You should do more than dust it off -- you should finish it. Roland

  13. How intriguing! William is obviously troubled and your words make me want to know what happened, and what will happen next!! Great entry! (BTW, thanks for the kind comments on my blog, I truly appreciate it!)

  14. @Roland: Sometimes?? :)

    @Charlie: I don't know what happens next, that's the problem! :)


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