Official Kissing Day Blogfest!
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Here is the end of a scene from Steam Palace, my current WIP. Prudencia has run away from the Harvest Ball after insulting both the Duke and her best friend Lily. She finds herself in an airship hangar, where Thomas Putnam is stuck on a task he should have completed hours ago. He lost the use of his left leg which is why he is struggling. He saved Prudencia from a pack of wolves earlier in the book. Told from Thomas’ POV:
"What, pray tell, are you working on at this late hour?"
Thomas showed her. "A simple task really, but it requires three hands and two strong legs, of which I am missing one each. I have been stumped for needless hours on its execution."
"I'll help you." She hopped over to the open cowl of the control surface. "Show me what to do."
"Miss Stratton, these parts are extremely dirty, and I'm afraid you may ruin your exquisite dress."
"Do you like my dress?"
"You are most stunning, I admit. Far better that our last meeting."
The girl swayed seductively before him, a mischievous smile on her red lips. "Lend me your gloves and jacket, and direct me, and we will accomplish this dreaded task presently. No need for both of us to raise the Duke's ire."
Thomas hesitated, but noted her glare brooked no argument. He pulled off his jacket and gloves, and she donned the ill-fitting gear over her dress. "Are you sure? The gear is fairly heavy."
"My dear Captain. My father impressed in me the need to balance both mind and body. I assure you I am in top physical condition, and able to handle a simple gear." The matter was settled.
Thomas grabbed his tools and maneuvered himself into position. Prudencia hoisted the gear, grunting and straining, and placed it upon its cog. Thomas tightened the bolts while she held it in place, his face below hers looking up past her bosom. At his signal, Prudencia released the gear and it fell into place, and Thomas closed and latched the cowling. "Yes, yes, finally!"
Prudencia's face had turned red with effort, and her breath drew quick. He turned to her to slap her hand as he would a colleague, but as he drew his hand back she launched herself in his arms again, possibly mistaking his reach for a hug.
She clung to him for a few moments, suffering some emotion he knew not what, yet he had no inclination to break the hold. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and dilated, her lips parted. He felt his mouth drawn to hers, when a foreign-tinged voice interrupted them.
"Ah, das schwein!"
Please no critiques…this is strictly first-draft material. Would they have kissed if they weren’t interrupted? Well, this is Victorian-era attitudes, so probably not. The point is that they wanted to… :)
Since this may be my last blog this week, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Holidays!
It sure is refreshing to have a guy chime in on Kissing Day Blogfest. Totally enjoyed this read--wonderful characters and setting. Have a great holiday.
ReplyDeleteOhh, so nice...an almost kiss from a male author!! Happy holidays!
ReplyDeleteHappi-happi-happiness! Some would argue that the almost kisses are better. I'm on the fence. Loved this! Steam punk??
ReplyDeleteLovely characters. I love the almost kiss scene! Happy holidays.
ReplyDeleteI love that she misunderstood his high five for a hug! Cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
A female with brawn as well as beauty for a change. I like that. Good for you. :)
ReplyDeleteCarol
"Thomas hesitated, but noted her glare brooked no argument."
ReplyDeletehahahah I laughed when I read this. My husband asked what I was laughing at, so I read the sentence aloud to him and then asked who it reminded him of. He, while laughing as well, answered correctly. It reminded him of US.
hahahhaah
Fun scene!! It definitely screams steampunk! Hope you post more :-)
okay....seriously...a guy writing an almost kiss scene? i had my doubts...but this was great stuff, 999. great stuff.
ReplyDeletejeannie
Where Romance Meets Therapy
Well done sir. I'm charmed to be sure. Your piece was well written and ever so romantic.
ReplyDeleteWarm regards,
Simone.
I liked the snippet and yeah the attraction between them was obvious.
ReplyDeleteAm I really the only man who posted a kissing scene?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments!
And yes, they do get to kiss...eventually...
Looks interesting.
ReplyDeleteYou will be wanting to capitalise your German nouns.
If you don't speak German yourself, do not rely on a dictionaries or online translations.
Get your German text looked over by a native speaker, or it will stick out like a sore thumb.
Nice scene! I totally thought you were a woman before I read the comments section (Sorry!)--so I'd say that it was a job very well done!
ReplyDeleteOh yes...they will definitely be kissing later one, I'm sure! Great job and I'm sooo glad you joined in on the kissing party! I just have one question though...what is steampunk romance? I've never heard that before. :)
ReplyDeleteLeft a little something for you on my blog! Check it out! http://carol-in-print.blogspot.com/2009/12/have-blog-will-follow.html
ReplyDeleteInteresting to get the male POV of a kiss. Laughed at the high five part. Poor girl, but what guy is going to say no.
ReplyDeleteDude - yes! another dude! - I thought this scene was great. I love the language and that he almost reaches out to slap her hand before she leaps into his arms. Great.
ReplyDelete@Declan Not too concerned right now--it's just a draft. That line may not survive edits
ReplyDelete@Amalia: Nah, if I was a woman this scene would be all mushy, not, "hey. kewl chick helping me. she hot. would like to play love love"
@Sher: It's a romance with Steampunk setting (or in my case more of a Steampunk Adventure with a touch of romance)
@CVM: Thanks! Will give you a shout-out soon!
@Mary: not me!
@Jay: Dude! Sweet!
Eeeh! I would've so leapt into his arms!
ReplyDeleteGreat scene--so are we looking at another Nicolas Sparks? Just sayin...
Jenni James
Good scene.. nicely done.
ReplyDelete