tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post4107108190231245652..comments2023-07-23T02:07:51.261-07:00Comments on Dawn's Rise: LOL—Friday Flash FictionAndrew Rosenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-82120506520732357402009-12-08T19:59:26.183-08:002009-12-08T19:59:26.183-08:00I just read your comment and I saw that FML too. I...I just read your comment and I saw that FML too. I like that you turned the site that makes us feel better about our own lives into something creative.<br /><br />Kudos to you!Tomara Armstronghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17185889402088565686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-90203934615525052422009-12-08T19:56:53.117-08:002009-12-08T19:56:53.117-08:00HAhaha! I went from "OMG CREEPY" to &quo...HAhaha! I went from "OMG CREEPY" to "that's kinda sweet". I really liked this... totally have me grinning like the goober I am.<br /><br />Thanks!<br />~2Tomara Armstronghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17185889402088565686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-50035841522786003562009-12-07T08:53:05.647-08:002009-12-07T08:53:05.647-08:00That was so creepy. And yes the dialogue was great...That was so creepy. And yes the dialogue was great! But I am also voting for less creepy, but then I am a girl.<br /><br />And thanks for visiting my site. I will post soon with agent hunting details. Thanks for asking!jdsanchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04658357606303732115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-29943998713496116742009-12-07T01:44:03.976-08:002009-12-07T01:44:03.976-08:00You nicely steered the reader through this, and wh...You nicely steered the reader through this, and what a great end line<br /><br />Good stuffRobert St-John Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12514521443060733196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-55305388499789393372009-12-06T16:19:16.787-08:002009-12-06T16:19:16.787-08:00I liked this. I'm really big on good dialogue-...I liked this. I'm really big on good dialogue- I've had to rewrite dialogue a million times to get it authentic. I found it creepy, on the other hand. But the dialogue was great. Is there a way for it to be less creepy? Probably not but I did like it. I don't know what else to say!The Amateurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00324976781441850398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-26743043053389752902009-12-06T15:00:47.911-08:002009-12-06T15:00:47.911-08:00Cute idea. I wrote a ss once that had a chunk of t...Cute idea. I wrote a ss once that had a chunk of texting in it. My critique group felt that the abbreviations got tedious and didn't provide for enough differentiation between the two speakers. But when I read back through yours a second time the comments were distinctly girlish and Dad-ish so I think it works pretty well for you. It's certainly an interesting and fun look at what can happen in the anonymity of cyberspace. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-46421923190569830832009-12-06T09:44:25.331-08:002009-12-06T09:44:25.331-08:00Thanks for the comments!
@Myne--I agree but this ...Thanks for the comments!<br /><br />@Myne--I agree but this format makes it hard to show all the steps involved in a reconciliation...in a way it's more of a story idea than a story...or it's a story snippet.Andrew Rosenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-84538779857743865992009-12-05T12:56:51.743-08:002009-12-05T12:56:51.743-08:00Sitting here stunned Andrew. lol
Love your idea a...Sitting here stunned Andrew. lol<br /><br />Love your idea and the execution. The reality of it actually happening is the creepy/scary/pitiful/omg/sad stunned part.<br /><br />Great dialog.<br />Karen :0)Karen from Mentorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03685540761526680384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-62028714304434250182009-12-05T06:42:29.689-08:002009-12-05T06:42:29.689-08:00Very well done, and yes, creepy. But very funny to...Very well done, and yes, creepy. But very funny toomazzz_in_Leedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01498100483681096442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-53352820840997298532009-12-05T01:54:01.267-08:002009-12-05T01:54:01.267-08:00Giggling! That was pretty cool [but creepy] conver...Giggling! That was pretty cool [but creepy] conversation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-68447141868125661842009-12-04T21:36:49.712-08:002009-12-04T21:36:49.712-08:00I could see that this is possible but not the endi...I could see that this is possible but not the ending, they couldn't have gotten through it so easily. Or maybe it's me, I was just too creeped out.Mynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07595087387069634003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-26595161842381696442009-12-04T16:29:16.094-08:002009-12-04T16:29:16.094-08:00Very funny! I wonder how often that actually happe...Very funny! I wonder how often that actually happens.Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-44951419638827396212009-12-04T13:54:08.795-08:002009-12-04T13:54:08.795-08:00I love the little devil face. Such a perfect place...I love the little devil face. Such a perfect place for it. And wow, creepy would be right.Tara McClendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07246124060126729229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-69909814296842450552009-12-04T13:14:23.611-08:002009-12-04T13:14:23.611-08:00I really liked this! I was as surprised as she was...I really liked this! I was as surprised as she was. I don't think it was too creepy. Maybe a little, but I didn't think anything of it until you said something.<br /><br />I love just dialogue stories. You've done a great job with that here.Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-18097981387979264492009-12-04T12:27:47.765-08:002009-12-04T12:27:47.765-08:00I so busted a gut over this one. The creepy facto...I so busted a gut over this one. The creepy factor had me covering my face (pictured my own DD gushing like that to her own dad). But in reality, that's what made it work. <br /><br />It could easily happen and proves we don't know who we a)cyber friend or b)live with. Parents and kids communicate more and more through texting, etc...<br /><br />I totally loved it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-42478173128884087752009-12-04T10:22:37.745-08:002009-12-04T10:22:37.745-08:00This was new and strange but it works!
Could have...This was new and strange but it works!<br /><br />Could have been creepy but it ended up being amusing and quirky.<br /><br />Did LOL in many places, especially last entry!Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-17432644806956773012009-12-04T09:55:32.302-08:002009-12-04T09:55:32.302-08:00Okay then.
This comes in at 1030 words, but 97 of ...Okay then.<br />This comes in at 1030 words, but 97 of those are the name tags at the start of each text.<br /><br />I got this idea from an anonymous FML entry: "Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML"<br />(FML = F___ my life. It's an iPhone app where people post the sadly ironic things that happen to them)<br /><br />I'm not sure it quite "works" because I think it would a lot harder to win her over, and also there's a super-high creepiness factor.<br />But from the comments on the FML site, I realized it's just a dad trying to make his daughter (and himself) feel better about a bad situation and reconnect.<br />This might work well as a plot for a 30-min sitcom episode or something like that, because then I think you could work out a really nice reconciliation between the two.Andrew Rosenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com